You CAN Laugh At That

My last name is Horning.

That’s where it started.

With a last name like that, you naturally get picked on when you’re a kid, and I learned at a young age that because my last name was Horning, therefore, I must be “horny.”

I didn’t know what that meant.

I was in kindergarten, so there was no context for “horny.”

You don’t experience “horny” when you’re six, so I imagined a Viking helmet, a bull, or a trumpet, and I was none of those things, so I resisted the name-calling.

And instead of solving the problem, it made it worse.

And the more I resisted, the more I became an easy target.

Until one day, I decided that enough was enough.

I decided to lean into the bullies and it flipped the script completely.

They were like, “Your last name’s Horning, you must be horny,” and I was like, “I am.”

And it worked.

Because no one wants to pick on the horny kid.

The horny kid is unpredictable.

The moment I start dry humping pillows at your birthday, is the moment you stop calling me “Horny Dave.”

It solved my bullying problem.

Because if we get into a fight, I’ll defend myself, but if I get a boner and you win the fight, I win the fight.

That’s a risky proposition.

This taught me that when shit hits the fan, instead of resisting, lean into it.

Once you do that, you realize that even though you may be struggling at any given moment, there are an infinite number of other ways to examine the situation, discover new information, try something new, and overcome it.

This realization has the power to flip your mental script, not only making the shit more bearable, but making it exciting.

You can power through to the other side and do something about it because now, you see that another side exists.

When I leaned into my last name, I learned that leaning into the situation instead of pushing back took away the power that other people had over my happiness.

Leaning in and rolling with the punches life throws has gotten me through bad days, stress, anxiety, failure, heartbreak, loss, and even death (not mine).

The wave of relief that comes with the realization that there’s another side to any situation is a gift that laughing gives, and that’s why I do comedy.

It makes me feel good and I want to share that with you.

It’s why I speak.

It’s why I started a podcast.

It’s why I’m writing this.

No matter where you are and no matter what’s going on, know that somewhere, somehow, there’s something funny, and as soon as you’re ready, give yourself permission to find it and laugh.

Remember that you can laugh at that, and when you do, it makes you stronger and happier… even if you are a trumpet.

*Below is the first episode of my podcast “You Can’t Laugh at That” with fellow comedian Steve Mers. If you’re a comedian, a fan of comedy, or you’re looking for fresh perspectives on controversial or overplayed topics, there’s something for you in every episode. New episodes drop every Monday, and we dive in headfirst with our first where Steve and I break down transgender jokes, exploring what’s funny, what’s not, why, and how to find fresh angles that prove you CAN laugh at that.*

Listen here:
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And most importantly, enjoy!

Thank you!

7 Reasons Why Work Is The Time And Place To Laugh

I had just finished presenting at a leadership conference when my phone vibrated in my pocket; it was an email from a gentleman named Bruce who had booked me to speak at another leadership conference five months later. It turns out, he had just seen me speak, so the only reason he could be emailing me is because couldn’t wait to have me present to his group. What the email actually said was, “We’re going to rescind our request to have you present to our group,” then he called me “wildly unprofessional.” My jaw dropped to the floor.

The audience laughed throughout, I was approached by another attendee to speak for her group, and I received an email thanking me for my “funny and insightful presentation.” What the hell was wrong with Bruce?

But the more I reread his email and thought about what he had said, the more I could see his point of view: my presentation was designed to shake people out of their comfort zones by making fun of the status quo of work, but I didn’t take into account that many people comfortable with the status quo.

(Also, dick jokes aren’t typically part of your standard HR presentation. My bad, Bruce.)

The status quo of work I was making fun of: 1 in 3 Americans are engaged by their jobs and this disengagement costs American companies $450-$550 billion per year.

How can we engage the people who work with and for us and disrupt this status quo?

Remember you’re a human being and so are they. The world needs to be able to laugh at itself, which is why I sometimes approach my presentations with uncomfortable humor. When we can acknowledge that discomfort, we come to the realization that perhaps it’s time to make changes, and what better way than to introduce laughter into the fabric of work.

Do you like to laugh? Of course you do! And if you know you’re going somewhere you’re going to laugh, don’t you look forward to it? My hypothesis: if people actually look forward to laughing at work, it’ll engage them and inspire them to work better.

Here are 7 reasons why you should make work the time and place to laugh:

1. Improves employee performance

According to a 2007 University of Missouri study, employees with a sense of humor show higher productivity, more effective communication, and a psychological connection to their work.

2. Improves leadership skills

According to the same University of Missouri study, leaders with a sense of humor were found to be more effective at motivating others and reducing workplace stress.

3. Employees want humor in the workplace

A Bell Leadership Institute survey found that employees would rather work for leaders who exhibit a sense of humor, as well as a strong work ethic. Imagine that!

4. Increases shareholder returns

A study by Huet and Associates found that organizations with higher levels of employee engagement where humor played a role outperformed similar companies on the stock market with increased shareholder returns of 19%.

5. Reduces the number of sick days

We’ve all heard that “laughter is the best medicine.” This doesn’t mean to stop taking your meds and laugh constantly, but incorporating laughter into your workplace’s leadership strategy improves overall health. The endorphins, oxytocin, and dopamine that is released into the bloodstream when we laugh counteracts the cortisol that stress releases, thus reducing sick days and increasing productivity. Studies have found that consistent laughter lowers blood pressure, increases oxygen flow, fights upper respiratory infections, and improves pain tolerance.

6. Creates new perspectives of problems

Whether it’s a difficult coworker who spends most of their day complaining or the market crashes, being able to laugh about it gives us a healthier perspective. Laughing about something minimizes the psychological impact by giving ourselves power over that thing. When we laugh about something that’s “too soon,” it’s our brain’s way of saying “I haven’t seen it that way before. If we know to laugh, it presents a bigger picture that makes the unfortunate situation seem smaller.

7. Helps solve creative challenges

In such a fast-paced world, outside-of-the-box thinking is vital in workplaces, and laughter activates our creativity much better than simply telling others to “think creatively, idiot.” A University of Maryland study found that groups who were shown funny videos then solved creative challenges at a rate of 58% vs. the 30% exhibited by control groups.

If you work for an organization that can use a little humor, find small ways to have fun around the office. How? There are a myriad of ways to find the funny and make work the time and place to laugh. Stay tuned to future blog posts and follow Water Cooler Comedy on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook for strategies, ideas, and thought provoking questions that can take your workplace’s culture and results to the next level.

Above are just 7 reasons to make work the time and place to laugh, but the benefits are endless, which is why it’s time to change what it means to be “professional.” Who wants to join me in revolutionizing work to make it “wildly unprofessional?”

When it Comes to Jokes, How Soon is Too Soon?

Life is full of ups and downs. Without the ebbs, we wouldn’t appreciate when things seem to be in a state of flow, and when things are down, they seem really down. In the face of tragedy and trauma, sometimes the last thing we want to do is laugh, but sometimes, that’s the jolt we need to shake ourselves out of a slump. At the end of the opening monologue for the first episode of Saturday Night Live after 9/11, executive producer Lorne Michaels asked Rudy Giuliani, “Can we be funny?” Giuliani quipped back, “Why start now?” which immediately broke the tension and heaviness that hung in the air. Collectively, it seemed as though Americans breathed a sigh of relief.

In the age of social media and constant content, when tragedy strikes, comedians, personalities, and basically anyone with access to a smart phone take to Twitter to joke about the tragedy. Many are in poor taste, many are cringeworthy, and very few actually do what the Giuliani did on that night in 2001. As he was flanked by first responders, he cut the tension with one punch line.

Which begs the question: how soon is too soon to joke about something?

The answer to this question has been debated for forever, and it can’t measured in days, months, or years. Whether a joke is too soon is determined on a case-by-case basis.

Too soon can be better measured by combination of the teller’s intent, the target audience, the trust built with that audience, the framing of the joke, and the target of the punch line. Whether you’re a comedian on stage, a random person tweeting about a tragedy, or searching for a way to console a friend or coworker, these are the question you should ask yourself:

What is the intent of your joke?

A comedian’s job is to make people laugh. Even though sometimes it may seem to be to shock, offend, or gross out an audience, the goal of these jokes is always laughter, and through a trial and error process at open mics and bar shows with very few laughs, the goal of funny is either reached, or the joke is abandoned. For me, the biggest reward of getting a laugh is the fact that I have succeeded in making a connection with others. I’ve shown them that funny does exist, even in the darkest corners of life, and that from that darkness can come release. If the goal is simply to offend, shock, or disgust, think twice about opening your mouth or hitting “send.”

Who is the audience?

If you want to make your audience laugh, you first have to know who your audience is.

One of my first speaking gigs was for a group in Richmond, Indiana. In that presentation, I had a joke about the negative spirals our brains can take us down when we’re stressed, and the joke ends with me joining a cult because “I can never turn down free Kool Aid,” which almost always gets a laugh. In this case, the audience stared back with nary a smile, and I had no idea why until we reached the Q&A portion of the program. A woman’s hand shot up in the air, and with anger in her voice, she scolded me, “Jim Jones is from Richmond. Some of us in this room lost loved ones in the Jonestown Massacre.” My face turned fruit punch red; I had no idea.

“Maybe you should do some research on your audience before making insensitive jokes.” And since then, you better believe I read the room and adjust my material accordingly before I get on stage. A few weeks ago, I spoke at a luncheon, and as the meeting was about to start, the meeting planner made me aware of a table of nuns seated in the front of the room. Instead of powering through the program, I switched out a few of the more PG-13 punchlines and had a great presentation without alienating anyone. I even snuck in a double entendre at the end that made the table of nuns double over in laughter. Why? Because before I told the joke, I asked the question:

Have you built trust with the audience?

I could spend 1000 words talking about how building trust with someone is more important than the content of your funny line, but I’ll boil it down to just a couple of points.

  • Communicate that you empathize with your audience. See where they’re coming from before you share where you’re coming from. This is vital whether you’re performing at a comedy show, or just having a 1-on-1 interaction.
  • Be sure to approach them from equal footing – if you make it seem like you’re preaching or talking down, it makes it harder for the two of you to see from the same angle.
  • Do they know you’re funny? If I’m in front of an audience, I never start with the edgy material until we’ve all shared a laugh at my own expense or at the absurdity of everyday life, so we’re now on the same page. If you barely know someone and you find out they’re going through a rough patch, even if you want to make them laugh, it’s abrasive to just introduce yourself, then go right into your jokes.

How are you framing the joke?

Again, your goal is to make your audience laugh, but the tragedy or trauma in itself isn’t funny. It rarely is, even if there is humor to be found. For example, Giuliani’s joke wouldn’t have worked if it weren’t for such a heavy tragedy. Without explicitly mentioning 9/11 in the setup or punchline, though it was implied, that way, when the punch came at the expense of Michaels and SNL, everyone exhaled deeply. More recently, Kobe Bryant was killed in a helicopter crash along with eight others. Since then, I’ve been using that tragedy as the vehicle of a joke about my mom always calling me to deliver bad news. The joke isn’t framed to make light of the tragedy, the tragedy is framed to make light of my experience of it.

Who is the target of the punchline?

The intent of the above Kobe joke is to make people laugh, I perform it in front of audiences who want to laugh, I place the joke at the end of my set so that the audience trusts that I’m funny, I use the tragedy as a vehicle to get to the punchline, and the punchline never comes at the expense of the victim. It takes the tension and releases it in a way that makes the audience feel better for having laughed. After my Aunt Kristie was killed in 2009, I was able to make light of the situation, not by making light of the tragedy or by poking fun at her, but by making light of the weird ceremonies we have to mourn the dead, by making light of the idiocy of her murderers, and about how I don’t have the tact to make people laugh in the face of tough times.

You don’t have to be a comedian to practice these tips. The next time you want to break the tension after a tough meeting, someone’s hard day, or after a tragedy, ask yourself the above questions and help make the world a better place by making one person smile at a time.

Hear more on the topic and listen to the above Kobe joke in this bonus episode of “You Can’t Laugh At That” on Spotify. If you enjoy, follow the podcast on Spotify – we post new episodes every Monday.

Thanks for reading and enjoy!

You Can’t Laugh at That Recap: Comedy and the Power of Words

Episode 2 of You Can’t Laugh at That was released yesterday, and it’s a topic that has both inspired and infuriated me for years: the power of words. Growing up, I was confused by the fact that certain words hurt others, but didn’t hurt me, and that other words have hurt me, but didn’t hurt others. Comedy legend George Carlin said it best when communicating his confusion with an arbitrary list of “bad” words: You never know what’s on the list because it’s always somebody else’s list… People’s lists even change day-to-day. 

I’ll never forget discovering my first swear words as I marched into my parents’ kitchen after a rigorous day in kindergarten. They had some friends over and I wanted to share my new vocabulary with an audience, so I put my bag on the floor, proudly proclaimed, “Fart penis!” and was whisked into the bathroom to learn what soap tasted like. Though those words aren’t considered bad by most people, that was the day I discovered there are “curse words” that you can get in trouble for saying, but also that these words aren’t cursed by everyone.

In this episode, fellow comedian Steve Mers and I invite the outspoken Dave Flynt onto the show to ask and answer the questions:

  • What even are words?
  • Why are some words offensive to some and not to others?
  • As artists and entertainers with the ability to influence, do we have a responsibility to avoid offending others?
  • How can we lessen the power of these words so that they don’t hurt anymore?

Words are…

  • Literally just noises out of your mouth that creates emotions and actions in others through their subjective understandings and interpretations of them.  Because the interpretations are subjective, a word doesn’t have the same effect on one person as it would another person hearing or seeing that word. Society is based on shared stories that bring people together, and we’re a social species, so we needed a shared method of communication, so we decided certain sounds would mean certain things, and language was formed. This caused the exponential growth of the human race, but the subjectivity of meanings can also cause disagreements and conflict.
  • Tools you can use to do whatever you want, from asking someone to grab you a beer from the fridge, to starting a movement, it all depends on who’s using the tools and what their intention is.

Some words are offensive to some and not to others because…

  • When it comes to the words we use, we have to remember that others have different life experiences, and that certain words will cause them pain when they mean nothing to the person who uses them. To paraphrase the eloquence of Flynt:”Some people have emotional stuff that makes them feel a certain way. You could be listening to a rap song called “I Fucked Your Bitch,” and if your girl cheated on you 2 weeks ago, that hurts. If you could be the dude who fucked his bitch and you listen to that song, you’re like, “I feel good.”
  • When we have a conversation, tell a joke, or write a tweet, we have to remember that other people’s feelings are at play and that we don’t share the same experiences and aren’t riding the same emotional wave they are.

As artists and entertainers with the ability to influence…

  • We have to realize that a comedy set is a roller coaster ride for the audience. If each line has the audience in stitches, those laughs will diminish as the set progresses – there has to be a natural ebb and flow.
  • We have to realize that the show can be an emotional experience for some. I once did five minutes of funeral jokes and was approached after the show by the woman who booked me that I wasn’t welcome back to present to the group because they had recently lost a member to cancer. At another presentation, I did the funeral bit with rewritten material, and afterwards, an older man who had just lost his wife to cancer shook my hand and thanked me for making it okay for him to laugh. Being wary of the potential sensitivity of the audience pushed me to be more creative in expressing myself.

We can lessen the power of words by…

  • Realizing that much of the offense comes from societal inequalities. Steve hypothesizes that if we treated everyone equally, there’s less of a reason to feel offended about something because they don’t feel like they’re being subjugated.
  • Changing the narrative behind the words to dilute their power. Since language is a manmade concept, changing language to move us forward is also a manmade process. If there’s a word that brings people pain, the question isn’t, “How can we stop using the word?” It’s going to be difficult to convince ignorant people to stop using “retarded” negatively, so changing the meaning of the word or creating a new word to describe someone who is developmentally disabled may be a better option.
  • Stopping the prohibition of certain words. Steve asks an incredibly intriguing question: “Are words like drugs where if you make them legal, they lose their power?” When we dwell on something “offensive,” we give the culprit power over our emotions. It’s not the words that cause the emotion from the listener, it’s the listener’s thoughts about what is said. In eighth grade English class, I used the word “dingus” in a sentence and the teacher and I got two completely meanings out of the word. The word “dingus” is used to refer to something whose name the speaker cannot remember, is unsure of, or is humorously or euphemistically omitting. Even after showing her this definition, she was still furious because she assumed I was referring to a penis and I was given two detentions.
  • I was totally referring to a penis.

As a comedian, your sole job above all else is to make people laugh. If you’re trying to shock, offend, or subjugate, you’re not doing your job. Remember that certain words trigger certain people, and that you can still make your point – and probably in a much more creative way – if you find a better way to communicate your ideas and what’s funny to you. As Steve puts it, “If you’re not an asshole, convince people you’re not an asshole before you say something that makes people think you’re an asshole.”

This goes for comedy and everyday life.

Listen, comment, follow, and share on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0uivwpcpfokYkTBsOKepz5?si=8CA86iyAST6Nj86Whc5T1g

or Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-2-the-power-of-words/id1495600197?i=1000463781993

4 Reasons Why The Office Clown Is Important To The Workplace

In school, I took more than my fair share of trips to detention and, as a result, received a fair share of admonishment from my parents after coming home with notes from teachers.

“You don’t want to be the class clown, do you?”

“You don’t need to talk out in class – you have a D in math.”

“Stop trying to be funny all the time. It’s not going to get you anywhere”

They also used to tell me that I couldn’t possibly make a living playing video games while 176 gamers are out there mashing buttons for six figure salaries (esportsearnings.com).

Now that I’ve fully embraced my role as class clown, I’m here to spread the good news: if you’re the class clown, KEEP GOING.

And if you’re a manager who has a class clown on your hands, LEAN INTO IT.

I’m not saying to head to your local open mic and try your hand at stand-up comedy (unless you really want to), but I am saying that there are benefits to being the class clown in the workplace. Whether you’re the class clown or you’re in a leadership position and trying to figure out what to do about the class clown in your workplace, lean into the laughs. Don’t worry, there are ways to utilize it as a tool to improve your culture. According to a study reported in The International Journal of Humor Research, office jokers were considered invaluable team members by coworkers and managers. Here are 4 reasons why:

1. They provide stress relief

Have you ever had a stressful day at work where it seemed like everything was going wrong when suddenly, a beautiful angel came swooping into your office and made you laugh so hard you forgot you were having a terrible day? Sometimes, it’s just what the doctor ordered, and stifling your resident joker’s ability to do this can be harmful for office morale. A quick shot of dopamine in the form of a joke making light of the day can offset some of the demoralizing effects of stress and give us a jolt of perspective.

2. They’re integral in building a strong culture

So you say you want to attract and retain the best and brightest applicants. In various surveys and polls, millennials would rather work somewhere where their work carries meaning and allows room for creativity over a company that just pays well. In a world where companies are competing with, not only their competitors down the street, but on the other side of the country to hire the best talent, culture plays a vital role. If potential hires can see that you not only allow your people to showcase their creativity and humor, but you embrace it, they’re more likely to be excited about your potential partnership. As an added bonus, office jokers naturally put fun twists into stories about the company, thus playing a key role in keeping the corporate history alive.

3. They question authority without subverting it

As a manager, life becomes easier when you give someone a task and they respond, “Yes, right away!” But sometimes, believe it or not, your employees may have a better idea for how things could be done since they have a different perspective of their jobs than you. For many managers, the thought of employees not being subservient to every request and demand can be scary, but fear not, because questions can often bring better answers and ideas than your people blindly nodding along with everything you say. You don’t want blatant insubordination, but there’s a difference between that and your office joker poking holes in the legitimacy of your commands. Along with this openness, you must be vigilant about being open to new ideas. If you’re going to be open to your authority being questioned, you better make it clear that:

  • those who question you damn sure better have a new idea that improves upon yours
  • you have a forum for employees and coworkers to come to you with ideas and you LISTEN and try to improve upon them when necessary

otherwise, people will have trouble taking you seriously.

4. They push boundaries

Bringing humor into a professional setting carries with it many risks, but in today’s world of rapid and continuous expansion, taking risks is one of the most important actions for keeping your organization ahead of the curve. When you embrace office jokers, especially when you’re comfortable with their challenges, this signals to the rest of the office that you’ve got an open mind when they try new things, which is a natural human tendency. With risks come failure, which is where your leadership is most important. When your people fall short with their new ideas, it’s up to you to help them discover new ways to course correct by utilizing objective facts – not subjective emotions –  from which they can learn. Human beings learn more from messing up than from everything always going to plan. Allowing the office joker more freedom in itself is a risk, but if the strategy initially doesn’t work out, it gives you the wisdom to respond in a new way, which communicates the important act of showing, not telling. By course correcting yourself, you serve as an example for how your people should respond when their ideas don’t work. After all, this is a team effort – no matter if your role is manager, clown, or both.

Anxiety: The Attack No One Sees Coming And 5 Ways You Can Help

I never thought it would happen to me.

To David Horning – the dude who preaches mental toughness, emotional intelligence, and leadership when others experience stress. I had my first anxiety attack earlier this week, and, for a moment, it crashed my entire worldview.

For awhile, I resisted it, throwing away everything I’ve learned and taught others about dealing with stress, overcoming adversity, and accepting reality. It shook me to my core, crumpling up my identity like a discarded joke premise and throwing it into a California wildfire, then dousing it with hundreds of gallons of water, and backing over the ashes with a big rig. After all of these years of preaching to “Accept the present moment,” “Look for the opportunity,” and “What can I you with what you know?” I became someone who was saying, “You’re a piece of shit,” “You’re not worth it,” and “Everyone should feel bad for me.”

Talk about a 180.

After a few days of reaching out to people around me – my family, my girlfriend, and my roommates – I came to the realization that this was a test to challenge the mettle of the identity I had created for myself over the years. And now, sitting in a crowded coffee shop as the aroma of chai lattes and the sounds of ambient music fill the air, I realize that now I have a chance to create a connection with those struggling to connect with others experiencing difficulties – whether they’re colleagues, friends, or family. All it took was a fresh perspective, and that’s what I hope to share with you through the 5 things you can do when someone you know is suffering from anxiety.

1. Communicate That You’re There To Support Them By Listening

This can be as simple as a comforting hand on their shoulder, eye contact, or a smile. It can be verbal reassurance that you’re willing to take the time to simply be in the room. It can be in the form of a card, a voicemail, or an invitation to lunch to just hear their side of the story without any judgment. Sometimes just offering an ear can help them verbalize what they’re going through in a way that helps them discover the light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Don’t Give Advice Unless They Ask For It

The last thing you want to do is to tell a person going through a bout with anxiety what they should do. Sure, what you’re saying may make objective sense, but someone going through anxiety’s fight-or-flight response cannot see the full picture, no matter how sensible you are. It’s not that they don’t want to feel better – they do (duh) – but if they’re not ready, you’re only going to contribute to the anxiety. Giving advice will make them resist what you’re saying through argument (fight) or simply shut off to you and turn elsewhere (flight). Or they’ll just punch you and run away (fight-AND-flight). Unless they explicitly ask for your help, simply being there is the best action you can take.

3. Share Your Experience

Be real. Share the most gut wrenching story from your life; was there a time you faced crippling anxiety? Depression? Even suicidal thoughts? The moment that began shaking me were hearing from my dad – one of my role models – share how he couldn’t sleep for days at a time, had lingering pains in his chest, and cold sweats while he struggled to raise a young family amidst unemployment and a bad economy. Then, a good friend reached out to me about how he contemplated suicide amidst the worst anxiety attack in his life. Finally, my roommate – whom I’ve known for all of two months – opened up about his bouts with anxiety. Sharing that you’ve experienced the same symptoms, but have a different story offers a fresh perspective that can shake the sufferer out of their current tunnel vision. Notice how none of this involves giving advice.

4. Offer Perspective

Whatever they’re going through, there’s someone, somewhere who has had it worse and overcome it. When someone is experiencing extreme anxiety, all they’re thinking about is how bad they have it in that moment, and it’s incredibly difficult to shake this perspective. Telling a story about someone you know, someone you’ve heard of, or even sharing a humorous anecdote can provide a jolt of, “It could be worse.” The other night, I was wandering aimlessly through the grocery store on the phone with a buddy of mine. As I tried to pick out the Holy Grail of avocados (why are they only ripe for seven minutes!?), he put the image of living in the Middle Ages through the bubonic plague in my head. As stupid as it seems, it made me feel silly for thinking my problems were so bad and shook me out of my funk for the time being. Oh, and I found the perfect avocado.

5. Ask Open-Ended Questions

When they ask for your help, it may seem natural to simply tell them what to do next, but that’s not what they really want. They just want to know how to break out of their funk, but doing it in a way specific to them, and the best way to point them in that direction is to ask them open-ended questions that will help them find their own answers (no closed-ended questions that lead to yes or no answers). The goal is to help them discover answers that make them feel better about themselves, reframing the situation so they can find a path up, and asking them what actions they can take to get there. In doing this, I was able to see that the anxiety I was feeling was all self-inflicted, that I’ve overcome every roadblock ever put in front of me, and that I have growth opportunities all around me. Now, I have an action plan in place to grow myself, discover new things, and use this experience to help others. That’s why I’m posting this now – I was in the middle of reaching out to secure new speaking gigs when inspiration struck from a question my dad asked me: “What are some things you can do now?” If I can leverage my experience to offer ideas to people who are dealing with others with anxiety (or dealing with anxiety themselves), I have to take the opportunity to do so.

Without others lending a hug, empathy, perspective, and asking perspective-expanding questions, I’d be in a much worse place right now. If you know someone going through anxiety, reach out, and at the very least, let them know you’re there and just listen.

Who knows? You may be saving a life.

3 Reasons Why Leaders Should Use Humor To Unlock The Potential Of Others

Another sideways glance and furrowed brow from a presentation attendee around 25 years my senior after another presentation about how humor makes better leaders: “I get where you’re coming from, but I don’t see why I should change what I’ve always done.” I’m used to this response by now, but at first, it was hard not to snap back, “WERE YOU LISTENING AT ALL!?” Then came the realization that I was tucking a fake mustache and a papal mitre into a suitcase while this sharply dressed, more-successful-than-me executive questioned my credibility. I get it. When you picture a successful business executive, what do you see? How do they carry themselves? Dignified? With importance? Are they stern? Some Mad Men-esque Don Draper figure pops into many minds, but with a little bit of humor and a loosening of the tie, leaders can take an already successful enterprise away from renting a Bentley from Enterprise to blasting off into the cosmos on the Starship Enterprise. A little bit of humor coming from the top can unlock maximum potential in your people, and here are three reasons why:

1. Makes you more approachable

A warm smile and a hearty laugh go a long way to make you appear approachable to the people who call you “boss.” When we’re able to laugh, especially at our own mistakes, it makes you more human, thus more relatable, by communicating to those who may be too shy to come to you with ideas. I hear the platitude, “My office is always open,” from many managers, but just because it’s open, doesn’t mean people feel comfortable coming in. By having the vulnerability to be able to laugh and be open to others laughing at you it makes others actually want to see you succeed as a leader, as long as you’re open to their ideas.

2. Sparks creativity and trust

When people genuinely laugh, it’s when they’re at their most authentic, and seeing someone in a leadership position so open to being real creates a natural sense of trust.  When we trust our leaders are authentic, it gives us an intrinsic motivation to want to help them overcome challenges and difficulties or come up with new ideas. If you’ve ever had a boss you’ve loved, you know that feeling of wanting to overdeliver for them. By laughing and being real about your own mistakes, it communicates that your employees don’t have to be perfect. Think about it, would you rather be around someone minding their Ps and Qs and calculating what they’re saying or someone who is real?

3. Reduces sick days

What? How do you reduce sick days by laughing? I don’t want to dive too deep into the biology of what happens when we laugh, but at the very least, it increases blood flow, reduces muscle tension, and massages internal organs. That’s not something a chair at Brookstone or a masseuse at your local strip mall can do. All of these unintended results of laughter being a core part of work allow your employees’ blood pressure to go down so they’re feeling better, taking less time off, and working with a renewed energy.

If what you’ve been doing as a leader all of these years is working, by all means, stick with it! I’m not saying you should overhaul the way you run manage, but you should definitely find more reasons to laugh, especially if it’s at your own mistakes. We’re all human; communicate that it’s okay to be more human to your team and you’ll unlock even more of their potential than you even dreamed.

4 Reasons You Should Make Humor Part Of Your Advertising

We’re surrounded. There’s no escape. Everywhere we look we’re being marketed to, and it’s overwhelming to the point of paralysis. If we aren’t being bombarded by ads while watching TV, listening to a podcast, or driving down a highway, take a look at your phone and scroll through your Instagram feed for ten seconds, and there’s another ad. How do we cut through the clutter and get potential customers to stop their scrolling long enough to absorb the content of our ads? Make a connection, and a simple way to connect with another human is through laughter. No matter your product or service, if you can get a laugh out of someone, whether they’re looking to buy what you’re selling or not, you’ve created the opening stages of a relationship with that person. Eventually, when they’re looking for what you’re selling, guess who they’ll remember more than that dry, “Buy our product… pleeeeease” desperation of your competitor.

Why is humor such a powerful tool in advertising? In his book, The Humor Advantage, Michael Kerr lists four reasons:

1. It helps attract attention

Like I said above, are you more likely to skip an ad when it makes you laugh, or are you more likely to skip an ad when it’s evidently trying to sell something to you?

2. It can enhance memory and comprehension

A study done at San Diego State University found that the students of professors who incorporated relevant humor into their lessons scored significantly higher than the other students. When teachers were trained to use at least 3 on-topic jokes per lesson, learning increased by more than 15% and these improvements lasted throughout the entire semester. Why? Humor forces the mind to work more than if the ideas were presented in a straightforward manner. Your brain has to connect ideas, and in doing so, creates a longer lasting impact. This is why Geico commercials don’t just say, “15 minutes saves 15% or more on car insurance.” They add a funny gag with a quick set-up and punchline so your brain makes a connection, then they hit you with that tagline. It’s genius.

3. In some situations, it’s more persuasive

A Journal of General Psychology study found that under certain conditions, humor can be highly persuasive when delivering a message that people can disagree with. Why? Because humor serves as a distraction and can reveal a new perspective, it opens our minds to allow new information in. With this in mind, perhaps those looking to start a movement on, say, climate change should ease up on instill fear as a motivating tactic, and instead find what’s funny about maintaining the status quo on carbon emissions. Which do you think will be more effective at swaying the people who disagree with their position?

4. It tends to enhance the likability and credibility of the source

It’s basic human behavior: if someone makes us laugh, we look forward to seeing and spending time with that person. When our brains associate the release of dopamine through laughter with another person, they’ll drive us to want to interact with that person for more dopamine. A study in the magazine Psychological Reports found that women who overhear men tell funny jokes found them to be smarter and more attractive than men who don’t. Do you hear that, advertisers? Not only can your humor attract potential customers and clients, you just may find your future wife too… That’s not the point I want you to take from this.

Set yourself apart the next time you set up an ad campaign for your business and incorporate some humor. For help in doing this, check out Water Cooler Comedy’s Funny Promotional Video package here: https://www.watercoolercomedy.org/packages

4 Reasons Why It’s Important to Say “I Don’t Know”

The 2020 presidential election is in full swing and with it, all of the platitudes, cliches, and mudslinging that accompanies it. Watching politicians jockey for position by having answers to every question, even though it’s evident they’re beating around the bush to avoid admitting they don’t have the answer, is one of my favorite parts of elections. Appearing to have the answer when they don’t actually hurts them in the long run as leaders. When was the last time you watched a political leader respond to a question with an “I don’t know. I’ll have to do further research to answer that question.”? I know I don’t remember.

We can learn from this in our everyday lives, whether we’re in a leadership position or we’re looking for relationship advice. In the quest to look like the smartest person in the room, we miss out on opportunities to say “I don’t know” and open ourselves up to new information. Though it seems counterproductive on the surface, the willingness to admit that you don’t know something has some advantages. Here’s 4 of them:

1. NOT KNOWING SPARKS INNOVATION

We’re on the precipice of a new era because of the advances in technology based on automation. This is a technological revolution that will dwarf the industrial revolution, which required more algorithm-based thinking and management. Change is already occurring at rates we’ve never seen, and with people in previously untouched places around the world like Africa, Latin America, and the Middle East logging on, that change is only going to exponentially increase. This means you will be competing with, not only people around the corner, but companies in Manila, Dubai, and Buenos Aires. With so much information being uploaded at any given moment, if you want to inspire innovation within your organization, it is vital for you to admit to not knowing what you don’t know. Even if you’re 100% sure you’re right, being open to the fact that there’s constantly new information that can counter your current position is key to growth. Besides, if your mindset is already fixed, then where is the room to expand?

2. UNCERTAINTY BREEDS CONFIDENCE FROM OTHERS

Though this may seem like a stretch, there is a big difference between “I have all the answers,” then being proven wrong, and saying “I don’t know.” Though our egos want to make us appear at the top of our game, shutting out new information with this “I’m right, you’re wrong” mentality lowers the confidence that others have in you. This loss in confidence means that people will be hesitant to approach you with new ideas, limiting your potential as a team. Saying “I don’t know,” makes them more comfortable with their own levels of not knowing, creating an openness to new ideas and collaboration that isn’t present with the barriers that come with having all of the answers.

3. IT EXPANDS PERSPECTIVE

By being unsure about something, it activates our intrinsic human desire to explore and learn. When we are actively trying to solve a problem by trying new things, it activates  our brains in a way that expands our perspective. This opens us up to more pathways to solutions, rather than the limited strategies we can use when we already know “everything.”

4. IT CAN COUNTERACT STRESS

By being steadfast in how sure we are, it closes us off from discovering new things. When we do discover a new solution to an old problem, our brains release dopamine, a neurochemical that limits the stress chemical cortisol.  Less stress means better health, strengthened relationships, and more creativity, and achieving that “Aha!” moment can be a life hack to the creation of excitement while your stress levels dwindle.

3 Ways to Maximize Your Guest Speaker’s Impact

You’ve been tasked with finding, vetting, and hiring a guest speaker for your meeting, conference, or seminar and you want to make sure the audience gets the most out of the experience. There are an endless supply of speakers you can hire, but you’ve narrowed it down to the one you think best fits the bill. You’ve seen many speakers – some good, some not-so-good, so you want to be sure the audience receives the presentation as both you and the speaker intend. Here are a few ways to make sure you and your speaker knock it out of the park.

1. Be clear with your audience what they should expect

Make sure the speaker has sent you a summary that explains the premise and purpose of the presentation – complete with audience takeaways, a concise biography, a link to their website, and a video link. Then, post all of these to an email to your potential attendees or some sort of event page, that way the audience has is fully aware what is about to happen. As a speaker who employs humor in a way that pulls no punches on the current status quo of the modern workplace, I have received feedback from previous clients stating the audience was offended by some of my content. Each time, the client provided merely my name and the title of the presentation without any further context. Being clear about what people should expect will save the audience from attending a presentation that may be uncomfortable, uninteresting, and irrelevant to them, while saving you the hassle of negative feedback along the lines of, “The speaker is not what I expected. Wish he had told fewer jokes.”

2.  Allow the speaker to use his or her own A/V upon request

If the speaker asks to use their own computer for a slideshow, it may be out of the ordinary for you, but there is a good reason why they made this request. LET THEM USE THEIR OWN EQUIPMENT. Every time past clients have requested I run my slideshow off of their computer, I have run into technical difficulties. I have had downloaded fonts I use in slideshows get reformatted on the new computer, jamming the on-screen text into a jumbled mess. Once, the font I used got reformatted into Wingdings on the new computer, so a very information-heavy slide looked like a Hieroglyphic-laden joke and I had to take the time to explain that it wasn’t intended that way. My presentations also incorporate music, which, when I have to run them off of another computer, I have to disrupt the flow of the presentation to play the music off of my phone.  My presentation files are also take up hundreds of megabytes in storage space and have frozen and even crashed a previous client’s PC laptop. I warned them, but they insisted. This note is for your convenience as much as that of the speaker. It may take a moment to switch the projector from your slideshow to the speaker’s, but I promise it’ll be worth it in the end. Put your A/V specialist (or the guy who knows what plugs go where) in contact with the speaker and allow them to communicate their needs. Remember to have the speaker arrive early.

3. Do not introduce the speaker while the audience is eating

Do you want your audience to get the most out of your speaker? Of course you do, but it’s tough to truly place 100% of your focus on the information the speaker is sharing when they’ve got a build-your-own taco in front of them. I get it, you want to kill two birds with one stone and maximize your time, but it might be more effective to ask the speaker to shorten their talk rather than have the audience trying to saw through their chicken marsala, pass the bread, and take notes on effective ways to communicate. Comedians hate performing while servers pass the checks – it’s a distraction to both the performers and audience – and the same goes to event servers dropping off the dessert while the speaker is trying to list ideas for building a better company culture. I open my presentations with a bit where I have attendees close their eyes and imagine themselves in their happy place. When watching the video of the event, I noticed about half of the attendees blatantly ignore this and continue eating. The follow-up punchline died on stage, and, because the opening is vital to the rest of the presentation, I never established a connection with a majority of the audience. Be sure the venue gets the main course on the table at least 15 minutes before the presentation begins, read the room, and introduce the speaker once desserts have been dropped off.

6 Ways To Introduce Humor In Your Workplace, Even If You’re Not Funny

Many workplace studies conclude that integrating humor into your leadership strategy can actually make your employees more creative, productive, and successful (7 Reasons Why Work Is The Time And Place To Laugh). Now you want to incorporate these findings into your office, but you don’t have a funny bone in your body, which you learned long ago when you gave that speech at your friend’s wedding, and it’s given you PTSD.

You’re not alone. Though, according to humor researcher Scott Weems, 94% of people believe they have a good sense of humor, only around 50% of people would rate above average.

It looks so effortless on Netflix when those comedians are making their audiences double over with laughter for a whole hour, but they have been perfecting their craft onstage every night for decades. Meanwhile, you’ve been stuck in the same routine at your job for the same amount of time and you’re looking to spice things up in the boardroom.

Here are 6 simple ways to introduce humor to your workplace, even if you’re not funny:

1. Know your limits and poke fun at them

You’re not funny, and that’s fine, but acting like you are when you aren’t can drive others away while owning up to it can make you more likable. In fact, owning up to any of our shortcomings can make us more likable and more relatable, especially if we’re in a leadership position. If we can laugh at our own weaknesses, stress, and mistakes, this subconsciously communicates empathy. Though laughing at ourselves may seem counterproductive, it helps others to stop striving to be perfect, own up to their pitfalls, and shows that you’re approachable in times of duress. Now it’s up to your leadership skills to work together on filling in each others’ weaknesses with your unique strengths. That’s leadership.

2. Foster a creative culture; stop saying no

You want your team to be creative, take risks, and come to you with ideas, but you keep saying no. If someone keeps telling you no, do you want to keep coming to them with ideas? NO! When people approach you to pitch their ideas, from their perspective, they are working to make your organization better and their day easier. Even if the idea is outlandish and implausible, at the very least, listen to them and ask questions. Take some time to explore together why they think it’s a good idea and see if your added perspective can guide them to the solution they’re looking for. At the very least, this will give them more confidence to come to you the next time they have an idea instead of pocketing it in fear you’ll shoot them down. Who knows? Maybe it’ll be the idea you’ve been looking for.

3. Know who your class clowns are and give them the freedom to work their magic

Keep an eye out for groups of people laughing together in your office and remember that this is a good thing – let your employees be human and bond. In fact, look to see if the same people are often involved in these shenanigans. As long as their humor is uplifting and open to all, not only should you let them keep doing their thing, but give them a platform, because keeping the office happy keeps them energized, and that’s when your people are at their best. Not only that, their sense of humor can work as a glue to bring people together during tough times and challenging projects. If it’s something they’re interested in, see if they’d take the responsibility of heading up a humor program to keep laughter as part of the everyday workplace culture. When people are laughing, it’s important to facilitate that culture, even if you aren’t the comedian in the room.

4. Share what makes you laugh

Did you see a funny clip on Facebook? Did you scroll through a thread on Reddit that had you rolling with laughter? Why are you keeping it to yourself? You don’t have to create the content, but sharing what makes you laugh may just be what the doctor ordered to break any tension in the room.

5. Delegate creative projects

Your creative team members are chomping at the bit to break from the routine and flex their creativity. Let them! This falls in line with knowing your people and knowing who to trust with what – you’re looking for the people who, instead of saying “no,” look for novel ways to approach problems. When a new, exciting project comes along, be sure to seek these people out to help with the creative planning stages and watch their eyes light up and their work become more inspired.

6. Organize events that will foster laughter

Does your team seem to be in a funk? Are you not getting the creative input from your people that you’re looking for? This is the perfect time to shake them out of their ruts by hosting an event or putting together a project that focuses on the fun. We’re all children at heart, and to activate that energy, sometimes we need to forget that we’re at work and let loose. Bring in an improv coach and play games that you don’t need formal training to participate in, organize a murder mystery dinner, hire comedians to turn your workplace into a comedy club and break up the workday, host a roast of yourself, someone else in a leadership position, or even the company in general to loosen people up.

There are many activities that can get your team laughing, activating their creative juices – all you have to do is give the okay and be open to the ideas of others. It’s one thing to be funny, but it’s even more important to appreciate what’s funny and foster an environment where people can lean into that.