“They live in paradise, I wonder if they’ll ever know it.” When Hindu guru Muktananda visited the United States for the first time, he noticed everyone rushing around the airport, in such a hurry that no one was taking the time to take it all in and really enjoy it. Our buddy Mookie came from a monastic lifestyle in India, where he had no running water, no electricity, and very basic food. He was astonished, not at the well-lit, well-furnished, shiny airport with dozens of choices of food and drink, but at the way people seemed to not be appreciating any of it. Many of us live our lives this way and we fail to appreciate and be grateful for the fact that the world is the best it has ever been. We don’t have to worry about our villages being pillaged on a daily basis, we aren’t executed for looking at a white woman wrong, and smallpox doesn’t wipe out populations anymore. There’s now 1 car for every 2 drivers, 1 out of 2 children go on to post-high school education, technology is helping us become more efficient, people have more rights in more places, and acceptance is being brought to the forefront of social issues. Yet, the number of cases of depression is the highest it has ever been and the median onset age of depression is now 14.5 years old, down from 29.5 just fifty years ago.
What is paradise? A yacht with an exotic parrot, sun tanned ladies and decanters of the finest scotch? A private jet with caviar, cashmere sweaters, and Bono? To one person those things might seem like paradise. To someone who hates boats and will never forgive Bono for siding with John Kerry in 2004, that might seem like a nightmare. The answer: paradise is whatever you make of it. Whether you live a life of diamond-encrusted jackets and constant visits to the beach, or you prefer microwave popcorn for dinner with a Netflix rerun of House of Cards, paradise can be anything. Disclaimer: I’m not saying “Hey, you should make microwave popcorn dinners and watch threesomes with the future president for six hours every night,” I’m saying, “Make the best of every moment, no matter what it is.” Even if you’re getting murdered and you let out a, “Lovely weather we’re having,” rather than an, “AAAAHHHHH!!! Don’t’ kill me!!!” the assailant will be thrown off by your unpredictable attitude, thereby leaving him vulnerable; all because you chose to make the best of the situation. If you’re bored, annoyed, angry, stressed, neutral, constipated, upside down on a jungle gym and panicking because you’re unable to figure out how to get yourself back on your feet – it doesn’t matter – always ask yourself a few simple questions. Is what I’m doing going to get me closer to my paradise? Is what I’m saying going to help or hurt my cause? Do I have anything in my teeth? If I were to make the most out of this situation, would it look like what I’m doing it right now? If in ten years, I were to be that perfect me on that yacht with a scotch in one hand, and a beautiful blue marlin in the other hand, would I look back at this moment and say, “Throwing that brick through that trashy skank’s windshield helped me get here.”? Chances are, probably not, because no matter how trashy the skank, truly happy people don’t hurl bricks through windshields. That’s not paradise. Just imagine enjoying life all the time. You don’t have to get pissed when someone talks about you, when the waiter brings the wrong type of pasta, or when the Patriots lose. In fact be the opposite. Even if the service is shitty, if you’re a good sport about it, your server will make sure to focus on you if you’re the nice table rather than the “table with the heinous bitch.” Although getting angry seems like the right thing to do at the time, those are your outdated evolutionary instincts telling you to fight or flight, and they have no idea what they’re talking about. They don’t have to worry about saber-toothed tigers anymore, so they take increased offense to the asshole who just made eye contact with you instead. Ignore them, because that bouncer in the corner will drag you out of that bar by your neck if you if you don’t. And believe me – no one likes to end the story about their night with, “Yeah, and then Jeff got kicked out of the bar so we left.” Thanks, Jeff. If we face a situation with a positive outlook, our brains actually become more creative than if we insist that being buried alive has ruined our night by panicking. When I say “make the best out of every situation,” I mean, “make the BEST out of every situation.”
A good situation to apply this principle to is work. We’ve all worked jobs we don’t like, but if you approach work with a positive attitude and a smile on your face, you have to have a better day than if you’re thinking, “I hate my job, I don’t want to be here, kill me.” Our brains act on what we tell them to act on, so if all we think about is how bored we are, we have no choice to be bored because we’re looking for the reasons to be bored. We’re willingly making ourselves bored and then we complain about it! There are always positive sides to everything, if we look for those rather than the negatives, we’ll find more reasons to be positive. All it takes is a simple shift in thinking. Even if you’re forced to sit through a boring presentation at work, with a different perspective you can even get something out of diversity day. A boring guest speaker can go from being a boring guest speaker to an opportunity to learn how to not give a presentation with a simple shift in thinking. It’s much easier to handle life’s punches when you can find the positives because, again, our brains act on what we tell them to act on. If you keep looking for the positive, it will become easier and easier to find it, even in the most trying of situations.
We can create our own paradise right now because all we have is right now. If we spend our days waiting for our paradise, then I hope you like waiting, because if we see it as always being in the future, there it shall remain. But if we decide to make the most out of our present, our paradise can begin right now. Who in their right mind doesn’t want that?