When Did You Stop Singing?: What Caitlyn Jenner Taught Me

When did you stop singing? Going through school, I noticed that the older I got, fewer and fewer people openly sang, and by the time we got to junior high, singing in public became basically uncool – even if it was in a setting where we were SUPPOSED to sing. It wasn’t cool to sing in music class, church, or into the PA system of a grocery store, so people stopped singing altogether. “What will So-And-So think if I sing? Even though I want to, I’m not going to.” “What’s-Her-Face isn’t singing, so I’m not going to sing either.” “Last time I sang, Cool Guy looked at me funny and started laughing with his friends, probably at me, so I’m not singing anymore.” We become so self-conscious of what others think of us, that we hide our authentic selves from being seen. We WANT to sing, but unless it’s in the shower or in our cars by ourselves, we’re afraid to put ourselves on the line because of what others may or may not think of us. Here’s what I’ve realized: those who criticize or condemn something that someone else does are insecure about who they are because they’ve been going through life suppressing their authentic selves. Subconsciously, they don’t want others to be authentic because THEY’RE not being authentic. It’s the, “I’m not having any fun, why should they?” principle. I know this because I’ve done it. For example, in junior high, I went to school with a girl who claimed to be part-wolf. She even went as far as bathing herself by licking her arms and rubbing her face with them in the middle of class. My friends and I all laughed at her and made fun of her because her actions weren’t fitting within the parameters of what we considered normal. Being an only child for nine years, I didn’t have anyone at my disposal to wrestle with, so I wrestled myself in my family room probably up until I was in high school. I would have never done this in public because I would have been embarrassed, but it was a lot of fun and I enjoyed doing it. Weird, yes, but why do we try to shoehorn ourselves into the parameters of “being normal” when we’re not being ourselves? It’s a compromise to our own authenticity; to our happiness. It’s why I create characters and do comedy now – so I can be myself and center my life around being myself.
When Bruce Jenner decided to finally release the self that he had suppressed his entire life, people were outraged. From my perspective, calling it an LGBT issue is short-sighted and barely scratching the surface – it’s much deeper than that. By revealing herself and making herself vulnerable, Caitlyn Jenner taught us a lesson that is being misconstrued by many of the people that I’ve seen who have offered an opinion on it: be yourself. Those who are angry aren’t angry because she “switched” from being a man to being a woman, they’re angry because they don’t have the courage to be themselves, so they’re misplacing it onto someone who does. If, deep down, who we are isn’t “popular,” or “acceptable to societal standards,” we suppress this part of ourselves until we become afraid to sing. When this happens, often the next step is to try to bring those down who have no problem singing their lungs out so that we have company in our misery. This behavior is subconscious and we don’t realize why we do it. It’s a defense mechanism that we use to avoid the facts. The conversation about Caitlyn is often deferred to politics, morals, or something that is actually completely unrelated and the lesson that is sitting right there in front of us is overlooked: have the courage to be yourself. If you catch yourself talking critically about someone else, ask yourself the question, “How am I holding myself back?” because that’s the subconscious reason why you’re trying to take away from others in the first place. Think of it this way: if you were an alien, disguising yourself in order to live on Earth, you would become gradually unhappy because you couldn’t be the real you. You’d want to levitate to the rooftops and shout, “I’M AN ALIEN AND I HAVE POWERS!” while zapping the next pigeon that gets close to you. Zapping pigeons is frowned upon in our society. So is levitating and being an alien, but if these were things that were part of who you are and you couldn’t do them openly, how could you claim to be happy? We only live once (as far as we know), so why not be the you who makes you the happiest? That is, be the you that you were before you became afraid to sing. Studies are consistently showing that we perform most effectively when we’re coming from a place of happiness, and we are our happiest when we are ourselves.
What if we had the courage to be ourselves? I’m talking about the “dance like no one’s watching” selves we all have tapped into at one point or another. How freeing does it feel to have this mentality? We’ve all felt it. Whether you’re an artist born into a family of doctors who insist on you being a doctor, someone who finds freedom in singing and dancing while walking down the street, or Xantha, a mystical interplanetary being forced to live in exile on the planet Earth for 450 human years, your life becomes authentic if you just allow yourself to be yourself without worrying about what So-And-So, What’s-Her-Face, and Cool Guy think. Finding our way out from under all of the layers of “You should do it this way,” and, “Why are you acting that way?” takes a concentrated effort. It’s like finding that note you wrote to your friends in 4th grade that you know you saved, but you’re not sure which box it’s in – it’s there, you just have to make the effort to get to it. Start singing again. Be confident in who you really are, and when you hear people snickering and criticizing, realize it’s because they’re jealous of your courage to just be yourself.

“I want to be around people that do things. I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do. I want to be around people that dream and support and do things.”
― Amy Poehler

Trisha McGovern Reviews: Chipotle

Being longtime pizza purveyors, my family and I decided to order some from this neighborhood pizza place, if you can even call it that. This is Trisha McGovern here with another review, this time, I take on the Italian establishment, Chipotle. If you want to wait four hours for your pizza and then never get it, this is the place for you. Wanting an authentic taste of Italy in the comfort of our own home, we decided to indulge in the sensational flavors of fresh tomato sauce, crispy, flaky crust, and melty cheese. What we got was none of this. I placed my initial order at around 6:30 on a Friday night, so I understand if they’re busy, but by 8:00 we hadn’t received our pizza. When I called back to vent my frustrations, the girl who answered said, “We told you when you were ordering that we don’t serve pizza, but you wouldn’t listen.” This is a blatant lie! Not only was my pizza getting cold (if they even made it in the first place), but they were accusing me of not listening when they were the ones who didn’t listen. I placed my order a second time: large pepperoni, extra cheese, and thin crust, and expected to get a second pie for free for the inconvenience. Not only did I waste another two hours of my time, I never got the pizza! By this point, my twin four year old boys, Weymouth and Bellus, were getting fussy because they were hungry. I had to feed them wet paper towels thanks to this disgrace of a family pizza place. The Chipotle family should be ashamed of themselves, disgracing the long-standing reputation of an Italian heritage. When I called again, they refused to refund our bill because I “never ordered anything” so they “never charged us any money,” which is the poorest of the poor excuses as to why we shouldn’t get our money back. When I asked to speak with a manager, the manager I spoke to explained that they were out of pepperoni, mozzarella, marinara, and crust, and that they don’t deliver. After waiting so long, it would have been nice for someone to come over and tell us personally that they don’t deliver, but it seems as though customer service is dead today. Not even a free cannoli. We won’t order from here again and I told all of my friends about my horrible experience that ruined my weekend and my love for pizza. This place is the worst. If I could give negative stars, I would.

1 star