Create Your Year

Happy New Year, everyone! It’s a brand new blog post for a brand new year! Enjoy =)

What does a year mean to you? A year in the past, some year in the future, or this year, each means to us what we decide for it to mean. The story we tell ourselves about our year and how it impacted, is impacting, or will impact us is really what determines our perception of that year, not the year itself. We’re all excellent storytellers in this way. Think of your favorite movie, play, or TV show. Each and every one of these stories has several stories contained within it. Individual characters each have a story they’re telling themselves about their lives and the situations they find themselves in. “I’m going to avenge the death of my father,” is the result of one character telling himself a story about loss, anger, and vengeance. It’s not the death of his father that inspire his actions, it’s the story he tells himself about the event. This story is different from the person who actually committed the murder: “He needs to be killed to keep me and my family safe.”

When we say, “F you, 2016,” and sit behind a computer, telling ourselves a story about how bad the year was for us, we miss out on the potential to tell a story centered around opportunity. When we look at past years, months, weeks, days, or moments, we can create something that grows us, rather than something that confines us to a singular choice. It all begins with the question: “In what ways was this experience an opportunity?” Which can very easily inspire follow-up questions such as, “What did I do well?” “What can I get better at?” “What are some things I learned that I can use, knowing what I now know?”

When we look at future years, it’s self-defeating to say, “I hope this is going to be a good year,” because the year itself has no control over how your year goes. That’s like blaming your ex-girlfriend’s apartment for the fact that she broke up with you while you were both inside of it. True, events are going to happen outside of our control, but it’s our response that determines what happens next, or whether it’s a “good” or “bad” year. For you to have a “good” year, what would have to happen? What does it look like? What goals would you have to achieve?

Now, look at this year, month, week, day, or moment and say, what can I do in this timeframe, knowing what I learned from the past to create what I want in the future? No matter what obstacles, roadblocks, or tragedies mar your path, an awareness of how to consciously take a step back, assess your past, future, and present to tell a more helpful story will help ensure your power over an arbitrary unit of time created by our ancestors to learn when to plant crops. Create your year. Create your day. Create your moments. Create your story. Create your life.

 

What if YOU’RE the Douchebag? (And How to Stop)

“I don’t understand why people are being such douchebags to me today. It’s pissing me off!”

I work a couple of nights a week at a restaurant and last night, one of the servers came up to me with a scowl on his face with plenty to say about how he felt he was being treated by a table.

I get it; sometimes we have to deal with some downright miserable people who snap at us to get our attention, who use sarcasm when sarcasm isn’t necessary, or who are just downright rude. Truth: they all exist and we’re sharing the world with them, but guess what? You have no control over their douchiness, but you DO have control over yours.

“But I’m not a douchebag. I’m a good person!”

Do you think the people being douchebags refer to themselves as douchebags?

Of course not! They think they’re good people. In fact, maybe they think YOU’RE the one being the douchebag.

“But THEY’RE the one being the douche! Not me!”

I understand. I’ve been there too. But because our focus is so stuck on THEIR doucheliness, it makes it harder to realize the impact of our own behavior. Maybe they started it, but it’s our response that determines how the situation plays out.

I used to think other people were douchebags, but this made me angry, and I don’t like it when I’m angry. Instead of becoming hostile, I accept their douchism and respond with calm, understanding acceptance. Okay, so they were rude to you, but getting pissed off about it only adds more douchiness to the world. If you don’t want other people to get their douche on you, do your part and don’t spread YOUR douche around.We’ve all had bad days – at one point or another we’ve all been the douche – so realize that something happened to evoke this douche-tastic behavior when someone else is douching everywhere, and let the douche spew roll right off of you. What they need is an understanding smile and the realization that you’re on their side, not a reason to turn up the douche.

After all, we can only control how we respond, so think about it in this way:

The next time you think “What a friggin douche-turd! He shouldn’t be such a douche to me,” re-frame the thought to put yourself back in control of your response.

  1. I shouldn’t be such a douche to myself
  2. I shouldn’t be such a douche to him

Now think about the opposite of douchiness: kindness.

  1. I should show kindness to myself
  2. I should show kindness to him

The person may continue to have a douche-gasm, but remember, you can only control YOUR response and their behavior has no control over you unless you allow it to happen.

If someone else is having a bad day, don’t get in their way so you have a bad day too – maintain self-control, and have some understanding that we’re each doing the best with what we know. Unfortunately, all some people know is how to be a douchebag.

Don’t be that person.

What the Cavs Championship Taught Me About People

Sports!

Just mindless idiots trying to put a sphere into a circle while the other mindless idiots wearing a different colored shirt are all like, “I don’t want you to put that in there,” while thousands of mindless idiots watching are all screaming “We want you to put that in there!” Right?

Not so fast.

I grew up watching, playing, and getting emotionally invested in sports. I’ve always loved sports, but I’ve recently expanded my perspective of them and grown a bit more distant.

“What’s the point? It’s not like you have any control over what happens.”

Maybe not, but if this is your worldview on sports, you may want to take a step back and reconsider your perspective. It’s not the athletes, gameplans, deals, performance, or even the sport itself that’s so important; it’s the group mentality in pursuit of one thing: a championship.

When the Cavs won, thousands of people took to the streets of Cleveland in celebration, hugging, high fiving, chanting, and screaming with joy in the face of complete strangers without getting punched in the face. Being a witness to this completely shifted my perspective. We can learn something here that has a further reach than any sports championship could ever reach:

Togetherness.

When people have a common goal and believe in the achievement of that goal, they come together. In the case of the Cleveland Cavaliers, it took a combined effort from the team itself, the coaching staff, front office, trainers and equipment managers, and ownership to reach their collective goal. As for the fans, while only a few thousand could cheer their team on in the arena, the rest took to the internet, packed local bars, or sat around their TVs, sending their positive energy in hope of reaching this collective goal. When the goal was achieved, there was such a sense of joy, love, excitement, and positive energy, that people who would never associate with one another were high fiving and hugging in celebration. Then, a few days later, over one million people packed the streets of Cleveland to share their appreciation for the team.

Looking down on the celebration in the streets after the game from a rooftop bar, I couldn’t help but think: “What if this collective effort and togetherness were to be re-directed toward creating positive solutions to other problems? What if companies came together as one cohesive unit to solve financial issues, rather than just the board making cuts?” (Although a celebratory parade might be a bit extreme: “Come join us for the Hazen, Hazen, & Hazen-Hazen Law Firm Victory Parade for the New Break Room Soda Machine!”) A collective mindset is more likely to create a collective solution. Whether it’s in the workplace, with family or friends, or even with the government.

“What if this collective effort and togetherness were to be re-directed toward creating a better life for each of us?” Looking at the major issues facing the world with this upcoming election, what if we looked at issues like immigration, not as Democrats, Republicans, rich, poor, Christians, Muslims, Latinos, or even Americans; but as fans of living peacefully. That’s what we all want. It’s our NBA Championship; our collective goal.

If so many people from different walks of life can descend upon a city in pursuit of the common goal of a sports championship, what can we do to come together in pursuit of the common goal of a higher quality standard of living?

What if we looked, not at our differences, but at our similarities, and embraced those?

People would be high fiving, hugging, and sharing their joy with strangers. Sports has nothing to do with mindless idiots. Quite the contrary, in fact. It’s a microcosm of life and what happens when people come together in pursuit of a common goal.

 

Get It? Got It? Good. Now Give It.

It doesn’t seem like it’s been almost two months since my last blog post, but the internet never lies,* so it has to be true. Time has absolutely flown by and I can’t believe I’m sitting here sipping on an iced latte because it’s June; I can’t drink hot lattes in June because I don’t want to contribute to global warming.

What have you been up to?

Wow!

That sounds great!

Me? Oh, I’ve been doing some traveling, speaking, and I’m doing my best to ignore gorillas. I recently had a pretty funny tweet about sex and balloons too (follow me on Twitter @THEdavidhorning).

Oh yeah, and I’m working on my first book, Find the Funny, for which you’ll see plenty of shameless plugs on my social networks over the next couple of months. I’ve been doing a bunch of reading lately and couldn’t help but notice the unmistakable connections between psychology and many of the basics of creating sketch comedy. Another thing I have noticed is the fact that in utilizing these principles, I have gone from being a political science student who couldn’t stand politics, to the producer of a sketch comedy show in Times Square, to a professional motivational speaker.

Why am I writing a book now?

Because another thing I have noticed is that very few people out there are aware of the power of humor and how it can grow us, expand our perspective, and bring us joy. Not everyone can see me speak, but everyone can download or buy a book. I didn’t leave New York to become a motivational speaker in pursuit of financial abundance (although that’s a big reason why I went there), and that’s not why I’m writing this book. There is a need for humor and perspective in the world. When we turn on the news or read an article, the objective of the network or author is to impact our emotions and tell us how to think. Why do you think the media uses buzzwords like “Horrible tragedy” or “Gruesome”? They’re manipulating our feelings so we make comments condemning anyone who believes otherwise, and click on links to other stories that support our emotional attachment. Believe it or not, we can perceive events, no matter how “tragic” or “gruesome,” however we want. It is within these perceptions that our feelings are created and our actions follow suit. I was called away from a great opportunity with very funny, genuine people in New York City to share with others that OUR PERCEPTIONS ARE OUR CHOICE AND WHEN WE CHOOSE ONE THAT EVOKES POSITIVE EMOTION, WE’RE MORE LIKELY TO CREATE POSITIVE RESULTS.

Because we have been groomed in a society that values the pursuit of getting rewarded for our actions, we often forget that our jobs are all designed to serve others in some way. To work in order to get something is completely missing the point of why we work. While getting a job as a staff writer on a TV show, getting 1 million video views, or getting paid six figures would all be great achievements, these must serve as the means to an end and not the end itself. If we focus on how we can use these rewards as stepping stones to serve even more people, we will have an engagement and meaning in our lives that fill in so many gaps that exist as a result of the pursuit of reward as an end.

We are meant to serve.

True, I charge over $1,000 to speak for 90 minutes. True, my book is going to make me money, but the money itself isn’t the goal in either case. The financial reward is a tool to improve production value and hire help so that I may reach out to even more people and introduce them to a perspective that can change lives for the better like it has changed mine. Each of us has a gift to give in order to leave this world a better place than it was when we got here. If we’re focused on what we can get, it becomes a lot harder to focus on how we can use our gifts to serve. Not only that, but by giving, we inspire others to give and, before we know it, we will have left a legacy that lives on long after we’re gone. That is the real reward.

What are your gifts?

How can you use them to serve others in what you do?

When it comes to reward…

Get it: What are your goals? What actions can you take to keep moving forward?

Got it: Congratulations, you achieved a goal!

Good: Because you received reward from the completion of your goal, that means you were able to serve others well enough that you got something for it. Now it’s time to take another step and

Give it: How can you use the rewards you’ve received to serve even more people?

When you’re engaged and your life has meaning in the service of others, bouts of boredom will be few and far between. Not only that, but the external rewards will pale in comparison to the internal fulfillment you’ll live with knowing that your work is inspiring others.

Thanks for reading. Now, back to either my book or tweeting about sex balloons (Which is what I call condoms. Which is probably why I’m single).

*Correction: the internet lies sometimes

I’m Not White & Neither Are You: A Piece on Self-Identity

My name is David Horning, I’m not white, and neither are you. If you’re black, well, you’re not black either. Are you Latino? Sorry, but that means nothing. In fact, without man-made labels, race wouldn’t exist, there’d just be people who are easier to find in the dark than others. How you identify yourself and others determines your experience.

One thing is true about everyone who reads this: you are you and you’re the only one who is.

Your identity is never attached to a race, religion, ideology, gender, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status; your identity is whatever you choose it to be. Unfortunately, we get shoehorned into categories, and, since we live in a world that categorizes pretty much everything, we confine ourselves to these categories. Our brains are constantly working in an “If that, then what else?” manner, so when we look at our skin color, we confine ourselves within preconceived notions about what it means to be white, black, Latino, Asian, Greek, Inuit, Viking, etc. The same goes with the other classifications within which we identify ourselves.

Grab your water wings and get ready to jump off the diving board.

Sure, David Horning might be my name, but I didn’t choose it. If I could choose my name it would be something awesome like Birmingham Steele. Actually, scratch that; I like a little variety in my life. If I could choose my name, I would pick a different one whenever I feel like it. As some of my friends know, I have gone by several different aliases, demanding they refer to me as something other than David H, David, or David Horning in their contact lists. My given name may be David Horning, but one day I could be Daddy Long Legs, The Monitor, Distinguish’d English Gentleman, Bee Stings, Sticky Pants, or any number of things. Actually, I’m not David Horning, I just am.

The point is: your name and identity were chosen for you, but you don’t have to live your life within the confines of these parameters.

Why?

There have been billions of people with light or dark skin, but only one you.

There have been billions of males and females, but only one you.

There have been billions of rich and poor people, but only one you.

There have been billions of homosexuals and heterosexuals, but only one you.

There are 26 letters in the alphabet, but only one u.

Embrace these facts fact and allow your deepest desires, character traits, and interests shine through like only you can do.

I challenge you to think about who you really are by pondering the concept of consciousness.

What is consciousness and how the hell did your consciousness become attached to your body? No one can know for sure, but what we do know for sure is that our bodies are limited while consciousness isn’t. You have the freedom to think anything you want. You have the freedom to be whoever you want to be. You have the freedom to interact with others any way you want. What makes it difficult to fathom the infiniteness of who we are is who we’ve been told we are, which is limited and limiting. From the moment we’re born, we start being told who we are: a boy, David, white, Republican, Catholic, middle class, straight, part German and Italian, right-brained, a chip off the ol’ block, an only child (for the first nine years of my life, at least), etc. When we spend our entire lives hearing these things, they become true to us and we accept them as who we are which buries our authentic, unadulterated, uncensored selves under layer after layer of identities. If someone comes up to you and asserts that you’re an architect when you’re a musician, you’d probably think, “What gives you the right to tell me what I am?” This is what happens to us when we’re young, but we’re too young to question these identities forced upon us from the outside, so we accept them and they become who we are.

When you’re old enough, you can either come to the realization that you can change your identity to better fit your unique consciousness, or you can live according to the expectations of others who aren’t you.

When you do the latter, your inner you is constantly trying to alert you that you’re doing life wrong:

When you’re bored at work.

When you’re offended by the opinions of others.

When you feel insignificant next to others.

These feelings are just your inner consciousness alerting you that it’s time to give up the façade you’ve built for yourself and be you. Unfortunately, your identity tells you that it’s the job’s fault you’re bored, the other person’s fault you’re offended, and the fault of your circumstances when you feel small next to someone else. In reality, this externalizing is just your identity’s way of protecting itself from you realizing you can shatter it and embrace your true self.

The identities that are created for us are what limit us and those around us by creating conflicts based on these imagined classifications. Our identity is infinite. To deny this, is to create inner-conflict, which often leads to external conflict. Don’t be who others expect you to be unless you want to live in constant conflict with yourself and others.

There is only one you. There has never been another you. There will never be another you. Why limit yourself into limiting categories determined by others?

This doesn’t mean that I want you to fill in the “African-American” bubble on a survey if you look like me. This does mean that I want you to get in touch with the real you. Strip away the labels, categories, classifications, and limits you’ve been given. If you were given a blank slate, what would you do? Who would you be? How would it feel to express your creativity without fearing the opinions of others? How would it feel to love everyone regardless of who they are or what they do? How would it feel to wake up every day inspired to work on something that engages and excites you? Strip away everything you know and be you.* Create your self-identity based on who you are, not based on who others tell you you are.

I create characters, get on stage, and do silly things because that’s who I am.

Chatham Adams

You’re not white, and neither am I; you’re you. You’re the only one who is lucky enough to be you, so embrace yourself and let the real you shine through to others.

 

 

*People are still made uncomfortable by nudity, so I don’t recommend literally stripping. Especially in public.

 

Vote for a Leader: What to Look for When Picking the President

Vote for Donald Trump.

Kidding.

Unless, of course, you believe he exhibits more of the qualities I’m about to list than any of the other candidates. These qualities of what makes a great leader were inspired by Think and Grow Rich, the benchmark personal development book by Napoleon Hill about what makes a great leader. Over time, we have learned what works and what doesn’t when it comes to leadership. Those who abide by these principles have, time and time again, proven to be strong leaders who inspire others to be the same.

Why am I writing this? Because, as someone who needs life-saving brain surgery once said, “We need a strong leader as president like I need a hole in my head.”

Translation:

More important than party affiliation, policy on immigration, or hand size is the ability to inspire others to work together in pursuit of a common goal. In the case of elected officials, their objective is to provide the environment to foster this pursuit. But what is the common goal? Some would say success, but I believe a fuller term is “fulfillment.” This includes having basic needs met, happiness, engagement in work, finding meaning, pursuing and accomplishing goals and reaping the benefits, and strong personal relationships. Positive psychologists agree that when we meet these benchmarks, we are, indeed, living full and fulfilling lives. Beyond wealth, success, or even happiness is a need for fulfillment. This is what we’re all here for and it’s the common goal of all, but we must remember that it’s not our elected officials’ responsibility to provide fulfillment for us. Fulfillment is created from within, but it is up to our leaders to cultivate an environment that inspires us to pursue this. Our leaders, specifically the president, must, through his or her words and actions, set an example for us to follow. When asked about the direction of this presidential campaign, actor Kevin Spacey said, “I happen to believe that we get what we deserve,” and he is so right. Just read the comment sections of any video, social media post, or article, and chances are people are arguing. Not only are they arguing, they’re hurling hateful insults and making demeaning accusations at one another. People are going to have different perspectives. To respect this fact gives us the opportunity to move forward. To deny it and try to force our own beliefs on others through hateful and bigoted language only denies this progress. What we need is unity in pursuit of individual and community fulfillment. What we actually have is divisiveness in pursuit of fulfillment. That’s why we need a true, strong leader who brings people together. That’s why I’m writing this.

What to Look for When Voting

Do they inspire togetherness? – This includes the setting aside of labels like Republican or Democrat, rich or poor, black or white, etc. in the pursuit of the common good. How can unity be achieved when people are categorizing themselves into opposing categories? A leader must be clear that we are all in the same boat – all of us are human beings in pursuit of personal fulfillment – these labels do nothing but cause us to trip over each other. Does your candidate attempt to pick apart the position of other candidates or do they focus, instead on their vision for leadership? To bring people together, we must be willing to accept and respect the fact that others have different perspectives because, as I mentioned earlier, we all want the same thing, we just have different ways of getting there. A running back stealing the ball away from his team’s quarterback to try to score himself just stalls progress and may cost his team the victory. If the quarterback throws a touchdown pass instead, the team still scores, just in a different way than how the running back would score. There are no labels; only people in pursuit of the same thing: fulfillment.

Do they have a clear and definite vision? – This includes a vision for their own course to follow that lifts others as well as themselves. Are there well-constructed goals and plans? Is there passion and belief in the achievement of these goals? Is this a vision that promotes inspiration in others? Does the leader strive after short-term goals, have a long-term vision, or both? Does the vision involve creating solutions rather than just doing away with problems? If we have a clear, definite vision, we are more definite and intentional with our decision-making because we know where we are going. Believe it or not, a great leader knows what direction they’re headed.

Do they own their shortcomings and mistakes? Do they actively learn and grow from them? Do they blame, complain, and make excuses or do they take action based on what they have been dealt? – Nothing defines a leader more than the ability to accept responsibility for mistakes, even if they weren’t solely responsible. This may be the most important leadership quality because, when we accept responsibility, it means we are in control of our own life. If we blame, complain, or make excuses, we are forfeiting this control and giving it to someone or something else. Sure, the media has its biases, maybe the last president left you with a mess, or Congress is being Congress and reading Green Eggs and Ham instead of leading, but a strong leader can step back and say, “This is the hand I’ve been dealt. Maybe I haven’t made the best choices so far, but it’s what I do with it now that determines what I get.”

Do they have a history of overcoming obstacles, doubts, and fears or do they cow-tow to the desires and wishes of others? – There will be roadblocks, obstacles, detours, and detractors. If a leader has belief in their vision, these are a necessary part of achieving it. If these deterrers cause the person to abandon their vision due to difficulty, they are no longer qualified to be considered a leader. Strategy and actions may change, but as long as the vision and goal remain the same in the face of resistance, they are most definitely a leader.

In the face of opposition and difficulty, do they exhibit self-control? – Leaders must be an example, so when difficulty arises, they must manage their temper, not be careless, and choose wise words. When they fail to do these things, do they sincerely apologize and promise to be better? Just like a parent with a small child, leaders must mind their behavior in front of their constituents.

Do they have a sense of justice? – When power and intimidation are used to rule, it has always backfired throughout history. Those who attain power through spreading fear, intimidation, and violence have always faced a downfall even greater than their rise to power. If you were the boss of a company and you inspired your staff to come to work so that they were genuinely excited to add to your vision, wouldn’t that be more fulfilling than threatening them to do their jobs? Does the leader put himself in the shoes of his constituents to consider the morality of his actions? If not, things can spiral downhill, and quickly.

Does their life, personal and professional, revolve around growth and opportunity or do they continually make the same mistakes? – Evolution is the key to the expansion of life, from an entire species down to the individual. Has the candidate shown growth after making mistakes or do they continually respond in the same way when they are faced with the same or similar situations? Do they view roadblocks as permanent or as opportunities to find a better way to create solutions? We aren’t the same people we were 20, 10, 5, or even 1 year ago because we learn from our experiences. We grow the most when we consider obstacles as opportunities. Is that what your preferred candidate does?

Do they go the extra mile to serve others before they serve themselves? – Going the extra mile to serve is actually an investment. Human beings are biologically wired to reciprocate, so when others go out of their way to serve us, it inspires us to go out of our way to serve others. Great leaders inspire, and they do so by going the extra mile.

Do they have a pleasing personality? – This doesn’t just mean that they’re “nice,” this means that they give other people attention, no matter if they agree with them or not. This means they don’t talk negatively about others. This means that they are honest and genuine. This means that they forgive others for their wrongdoings. This means that they are willing to see the world through the eyes of those with another point of view, or who are less fortunate, rather than just dismissing them. This means considering and being appreciative of the feedback given by others. This means that they tip at least 20% when going out to eat. Okay, maybe that last one isn’t mandatory, but it’s still important to consider how they treat the people that can’t give them much.

Are they willing to cooperate with others? – We are far more effective problem-solvers when we have a willingness to consider the positions of others. When we only consider our views or the views of those who agree with us, we only see a limited amount of the full picture. When we consider all ideas, the whole picture becomes much clearer. Cooperation also means that, when the goal is met, the leader gives his appreciation to all of those he worked with, rather than taking sole responsibility.

Do they surround themselves with other leaders who focus on serving others? – We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Don’t you want your leader to surround themselves with other leaders?

Do they inspire others to be leaders as well? – What good is being a leader when you can’t inspire others to learn from you? What I mean by inspiring other leaders doesn’t necessarily mean inspiring them to take on a leadership role. I mean that they are inspired to exhibit these qualities in their own lives, no matter what job they have or role they play.

To be a leader is to live with purpose, conviction, a service-oriented attitude, and to inspire others to do the same. To lead is to live a life of fulfillment. Don’t you think we should have a president that does the same?

 

 

Perception of Problems Prevents Political Progress

Note: my purpose for writing these politically motivated blog posts is not to claim that my perception is the absolute truth, but to present another perception of reality that politicians, the media, and political experts ignore. All I want is for you, the reader, to take a step back and consider another point of view because, in reality, there is no absolute truth, only matters of perception.

The perception of problems prevents political progress.

Not because of the fact that they’re problems – they’re actually not problems at all – but because they are labeled and perceived as problems. Problems are often viewed as obstacles that prevent progress and are, seemingly, outside of our control. However, the only thing that ensures that problems remain problems is our interpretation of them as problems. Have you ever seen a movie that you hated? You could probably name 25 reasons you didn’t like it and not one reason why it was good. Meanwhile, your friend loved the movie and can’t understand why you hate it. When we label something as good, bad, something we love, something we hate, a problem, or an opportunity, we are commanding our brains to only look for supporting facts that prove us right. Then it becomes increasingly difficult to see the other side of the coin. In politics, the problem with seeing something as a problem, and not an opportunity, means the next action taken will be to eliminate the problem. The problem with problems is that preventing or eliminating them, doesn’t create a solution. When you want to lose weight, you don’t just stop eating crappy food; you have to replace that with healthy food (because you should probably keep eating something). Instead of wanting to lose weight, doesn’t it sound better if you instead want to weigh a specific weight, look great naked, and feel healthy and full of energy? These goals are more powerful motivators than simply getting rid of your old eating habits.

If you have a leaky pipe, that’s a problem. If you curse the pipe and throw your phone over your damned luck, you’re just angry and the problem is still a problem. If you cover the leak with duct tape or place a bucket beneath it to catch the falling water, that’s a temporary fix, however, the problem is still there and can even grow in size. If you simply get rid of the pipe, the leak turns into an explosion of water. If you go into other people’s homes and burst their pipes, that doesn’t fix your pipe situations .If you get rid of the pipe AND THEN get a new pipe, the problem has suddenly transformed into a solution.

That’s the key: perceiving problems as opportunities for solutions.

The first step to turning problems into solutions is to identify the problem as something that needs fixed. That’s it. That’s the end of the situation being a problem; it’s now an opportunity for a solution. If a problem stays a problem, it actually limits the number of solution options we perceive because we’re so focused on said problem, that we miss out on the opportunities outside of that tunnel vision to solve it.

But how can this be applied to politics?

In the words of immortal rapper Mac Dre: err thang (translation: everything).

Is poverty a problem?

You bet.

Is poverty a problem?

Didn’t you just ask me that? Yes.

Is poverty a problem?

YES

Is poverty a problem?

Is this a test of patience? Because I’m not going to pass if you ask me that question again.

Thank y-

Is poverty a problem?

(Throat punch)

Of course poverty is a problem, however continuing to view it as a problem perpetuates the problem and makes it sooooo much harder to create a viable solution. By continuing to look at poverty as a problem, policies are passed, such as the 1964 Economic Opportunity Act, which was intended to dramatically lower the country’s poverty rate. Since that act passed over 50 years ago, the poverty rate has decreased from 17.3% to 14.5%. The National Center for Policy Analysis has concluded that the “War on Poverty” has cost $22 trillion, more than every American war combined, yet the poverty rate has only been lowered by 2.8%. Maybe in another 50 years (and after another $22 trillion), we can lower the poverty rate to 11.7% and we can put that on bumper stickers (Come to America, where the poverty rate is only 11.7%!).

This act has largely been a failure, not because of the policies put in place, but because of the perception of poverty that has motivated policies such as this. Continuing to perceive poverty as a problem ensures it will remain a problem and one of the frontrunners for the presidency has focused the majority of his campaign on the problem rather than the solution. What if poverty was simply an obstacle that can be overcome in order to achieve wealth, and not an indestructible barrier? The longer we consider poverty a problem and not a solution opportunity, the more permanent it will become.

Hell, look at the War on Terror and the War on Drugs – further proof that focusing policy around eliminating problems is a hindrance more than a help. A friggin’ expensive hindrance.

To be clear: problem-centric thinking will never create solutions, no matter the problem.

What if, instead of attacking problems, we created solutions? Solutions are the opposite of problems, so what is the opposite of a leaky old pipe? Getting rid of the pipe just creates a bigger leak and bursting other pipes does nothing to improve the quality of your pipe, so what is the solution to a leaky pipe? The answer: a perfectly solid, working pipe that no one has to worry about because it’s piping at an optimal level of pipeness. The next time a pipe bursts, you’ll be able to spring into action and create a solution because you’ve trained your mind to focus on the solution instead of the problem.

Back to politics. Hooray!

Pay attention to the next presidential debate: every single solution is going to be centered around eliminating problems. Focusing on eliminating problems will never create solutions unless problems are viewed as opportunities. Poverty will never be eliminated unless wealth is created, no matter how much money is distributed to those living in poverty. Terrorism will never be destroyed until peace is accepted as an agent of change, no matter how many terrorists are killed. Leaks will never be stopped until new pipes are installed, no matter how many pieces of duct tape are applied. Problems will continue to be problems until they are replaced by solutions.

Identify the problem, figure out what the opposite is, and focus on creating that, and not just on eliminating the problem. This is the solution, and the blatant blindness to this fact in our political system is one of the real problems – I mean opportunities for a solution – facing the world today. Living a problem-focused life only created more problems for me, so I have learned to live my life focused on solutions, and it has changed literally everything for me. I have less stress, I take more action and am more productive, and I’ve found a way to make a living conveying this message to live audiences by doing what I love to do. Hardships and obstacles aren’t problems unless you perceive them that way. Likewise, hardships and obstacles won’t be opportunities for solutions until you perceive them that way. Perspective is a choice, and the labels we use determine that choice, which determines our reality. Which choice will you make?

Republicans v. Democrats v. Progress

“I hate all politics. I don’t like either political party. One should not belong to them – one should be an individual, standing in the middle. Anyone that belongs to a party stops thinking.” – Ray Bradbury

“Democrats, what are some things you think of when you think of Republicans?”

“Hunting”

“NASCAR”

“Bible thumpers”

“Racist, homophobic, misogynistic”

“Rich white guys”

“Republicans, what are some things you think of when you think of Democrats?”

“Tree huggers”

“Enablers”

“Bad at money”

“Atheists”

“Hippies”

The previous was an actual exchange in my Political Parties class during my senior year of college, and I’ll never be able to forget it. This day in class served as an eye opener for me because each response was a degradation of another ideology by your future community leaders and policy-makers.

If you identify as Republican, what are some things you think of when you think of Democrats? If you identify as Democrat, what are some things you think of when you think of Republicans? All good things, right?

Imagine a company where half of the board never agreed with the other half. That’s right, they intentionally set out to thwart everything the other half did:

“Yes, I have a proposal to re-allocate 5% of our budget and incrementally increase profits as that money is invested in a more worthwhile venture.”

“No! That’s a terrible idea. How are you going to pay for it? It’s never going to work!”

“If you’d just let me give my presentation-“

“I know that, because you’re in accounting, it’s going to be a disaster! You’re a disgrace to this company!”

“But I put together a proposal with-“

“BOOOOO! NAY! I say NAY!”

Something tells me this company isn’t exactly going to flourish. To make progress, we must be open to new ideas, no matter what department or political party the other person is in, and be willing to ask “What if this guy’s idea could actually work? What can I add that will make it even better?” instead of immediately shooting it down.

Unfortunately, our political system is one comprised of labels, and being labeled as Republican or Democrat means that your ideology must fit within parameters, and parameters limit perspective. Thus, new legislation is often met with the same response as the previously mentioned hypothetical company. The law of the universe states that if it is believed, it is possible. What this means is that if we believe an idea will work, our brains will scour our world for opportunities, pinpoint reasons why the idea will work, and get to work on taking steps to ensure its success. Inversely, the same is true if we believe an idea won’t work. Immediately saying “no” and discrediting an idea only prolongs or destroys the chance for the discovery of a solution. When we work together to search for opportunities to improve upon an idea and work toward a common goal, we create a diverse number of paths to reach that goal. When we’re more focused on our differences, like many policy makers are, reaching that goal becomes more about defeating the other ideology than creating solutions. Imagine if both ideologies were combined to work together instead of used as an excuse to repel each other…

The 2-party system creates an us vs. them mentality; shifting the focus from achieving results to achieving victory over the opposition

If the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers got together this coming Sunday to determine new, creative ways to keep football players safe from head injuries, about sixteen people would tune in. We’re drawn to us vs. them conflict because we like the idea of clear winners and losers. To be able to say “I’m better than you,” has become a need for our programmed egos. While this concept works great in a football game or other sort of competition to determine a winner, it doesn’t exactly foster productivity. With election season in full swing, we’re being bombarded with candidates looking to run the other candidates’ reputations through the mud to prove that “I’m better.” The media, playing off of our egoic desire for winners and losers, has perpetuated this format, and dammit, it’s working. We want to see candidates either stomp on the opposition or crumble under the pressure. We want to know who “won” debates and which party will edge the other in the election. Are we talking about solutions to situations facing the country? No; we’re talking about which candidate we want to win. In reality, all good politicians want to improve this country, and we, as human beings, all want the same things:

  1. Basic needs to be met (food, water, sex, shelter, etc.)
  2. Safety and security (including health, family, property, and job security)
  3. Love and belonging
  4. Confidence, self-esteem, achievement, and respect
  5. Self-actualization through acceptance, equality, morality, problem solving, creativity

However, the need to defeat the opposition has become more important than achieving these needs, and that’s why party labels are not only cracking the foundation of our political system, they’re setting the explosives to blow it up.

To trump (pun not intended) the competition and make them look bad has become the goal of politicians. If this weren’t the case, why are Republicans simply trying to repeal Obamacare while not offering to help craft a new healthcare plan that more people can get on board with? Why are presidential candidates focusing their campaign strategies on tearing down their rivals instead of presenting solutions to problems? Ladies and gentlemen, it’s all about the showdown because the showdown instills emotions in the voter base, and emotions draw ratings, clicks, and passionate (frequently hateful) comments. Creating solutions isn’t sexy, but conflict is.

If we’re looking to make progress and improve upon our current system, which, deep down we all want, we have to focus more on progress and not on trying to win or make the other side look bad. In the Super Bowl this Sunday, no one is going to come up with better helmets, more efficient rules, or stricter medical procedures to improve player health, however, someone will win and someone will lose, just like with politics. Except, in the case of politics, when the focus is on wins and losses instead of fostering growth and pursuing the security of all basic human needs, we all lose. Once we eliminate party-line labels, become individuals, and focus on leadership and growth, we can start thinking again. Thinking expands our perspective, introduces new options to propel growth, and inspires a group mindset in pursuit of a common goal. In that case, there don’t have to be winners or losers because everyone has an opportunity to win.

Labels: The Real Enemy of Political Progress

 

I don’t see labels. I mean, I do because we were programmed to believe in labels, but (after pushing down my programmed beliefs), I’m able to take a step back, see a person, event, or thing and cut through the labels. Now, I view reality from a completely different plane where I can see it from so many different angles and it has, for the most part, freed me from the insidious absoluteness of labels. Labels like: good, bad, gay, straight, black, white, poor, rich, pessimistic, optimistic, boring, awesome, etc.; all work to confine our thinking within their parameters. Once you decide to label something and view it from a certain perspective, it becomes all too easy to miss anything that doesn’t fall within the parameters of said perspective.

Outside of the label lies opportunity after opportunity, but without perceiving something as “an opportunity,” there’s little chance of even noticing. Instead of saying something as absolute as “this” or “that,” what we should be learning is how to trash the labels and realize that things, people, and events just are. They exist, and that’s all we can know for sure. When you’re able to strip away the labels, it widens your perspective, and widening your perspective opens you up to so many new opportunities that were near impossible to see before. To look at an event labelled as “bad” (like war, climate change, or a break-up) as an opportunity actually activates our imagination and our brains begin to search for all of the potential opportunities lying beneath. If we keep seeing it as bad, our brains search for all of the reasons it’s bad, and our imaginations cherry-pick other aspects of the event that may not even be bad (or related to the event in the first place) and label them as bad too.

As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet: “Nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Basically, nothing means anything; things just are until we think about and classify them by using labels.

What about politics?

Modern politics is ALL about labels. From Republican or Democrat, pro or anti, to racial, socioeconomic, and religious labels, these labels confine, not only the policy makers, but anyone who identifies themselves, and others, within them. Labels are the primary reason why the political system hasn’t made significant progress in recent years: it has been confined, and now, must be freed.

Is the political landscape the best it will ever be? Not even close. There’s work to be done to improve upon what has already been accomplished over the last few millennia, yet today’s excessive labeling is holding back growth. In observing the behavior of politicians, political candidates, and the press over recent years, I have noticed an increase in labeling. They label other politicians, bills, political parties, etc., as and these labels create barriers to progress. These people are serving as our leaders and leaders lead by example, so, as a result, many people have been following this example and using labels to define their lives and their perceptions of others. Labeling is so, so destructive. My labeling of labeling as being destructive is destructive. Solving the labeling problem is tricky, but the first step is to identify that there’s a problem, and then work toward a solution. Over my next few blog posts, I’m going to refer back my experience as a political science major, combine it with the recent research I’ve done in human behavior and positive psychology to:

1.) Identify a label that’s confining the growth of politics

2.) Cut through the label and reveal the truth (that it means nothing)

3.) Predict what could happen if the label is replaced with an opportunity perspective.

Labels are something we have programmed into us from the day we’re born, so it might feel a little bit uncomfortable to imagine life without them. If someone tells you they got fired from their job because their boss is an ass, they probably expect you to respond with, “That sucks. He is an ass. I’m sorry.” They definitely don’t understand when you respond with, “That is,” or, “Is that really true?”

When I was a kid, I was told I was white, shy, happy, weird, Catholic, a Republican, middle class, straight, lazy, not athletic, nerdy, and many other things that I never challenged. When I realized I wasn’t born with any of these labels, that I just believed them and went through life applying them to myself, I picked the ones I wanted to keep and started to really come out of my shell. At first, it was uncomfortable and often difficult to shirk some of these, but since coming to the realization that I’m not my labels, I’ve found what I love to do, am pursuing a career doing it, and loving every minute of it! I realize that nothing will ever be “perfect” (another label) and my life won’t play out exactly how I have it planned, but every day is an opportunity to get better, no matter what happens. I have grown as a person beyond what I could have been if I stuck to what I was programmed to believe. Anyone can. I’m not white, shy, happy, weird, Catholic, a Republican, middle class, straight, lazy, not athletic, or nerdy; I’m David Horning and I am the way I am because I choose to be.

Over the next few weeks, let’s work together to break down the barriers that labels build in our lives and start growing into who we really are.

What kind of labels do you use to describe yourself? The people around you? The events that unfold in front of you?

My Ultra-Super Realistic New Years’ Resolutions

Every New Year comes and goes with resolutions that go un-resolved, so this year, I’m making a concentrated effort to achieve some goals I have had for a long time. In order to hold myself accountable, I’m posting them on here so, at the end of the year, I can see how far I’ve come and so can you. Let’s start with the most realistic:

  1. Become President

A lot of crazy stuff happened in 2015, so I found myself saying, “That wouldn’t happen if I were president.” For example:

  • They found water on Mars. Earth is 75% water, why do we need to go all the way to Mars?
  • Bill Cosby came out with a new show where he sexually assaults a few dozen women. Ugh. Does everything have to be about either sex or violence anymore? Go back to playing the loving dad and pushing pudding products the whole family can enjoy.
  • People got really mad about the plain red cup at Starbucks but no one got mad about Toby Keith’s song about red cups. As president, double standards will become a thing of the past.
  • Why are we talking about ISIS when we could be talking about Ariana Grande licking donuts and saying “I hate America.” No one will hate America when I’m president!
  • When I typed “top news stories of 2015” into Google, the number 13 result was “top 10 penis stories of 2015.” People are searching for that? Not with me as president! They’ll be searching for “top 10 president David Horning stories of 2016,” but there will only be one: “President David Horning creates world peace.”

2016 will be the year in which David Horning becomes the 45th president of the United States and put the “us” back in USA.

*Note: after posting it has come to my attention that the president has to be 35. So I would like to announce my New Years’ Resolution to become president in the year 2024.

       2. Lose weight

I’m so self-conscious about my body in front of babies, so my goal is to get back to the weight I was born to be by the time summer rolls around: eight pounds and one ounce. I want to walk into the baby pool area and have all of the jealous toddlers ask me, “How’d you do it?” so I can respond, “It’s a secret formula.” (Hint: it’s formula)

3. Invest in Property and Make a Passive Income

The other day while I was driving, I passed a tree farm and got to thinking, “I could make a killing off of that.” This year, I’m going to take all of the money in my savings and make an investment that is going to pay dividends for years to come: I’m going to buy a forest and put a tree farm sign in front of it. Just bring your own chainsaw (or axe, if that’s what you prefer), pick out the tree you want, and put the money in the lockbox at the entrance. I’ll be drinking 21 year-old scotch while wearing a smoking jacket in my study in no time.

4. Read more

Do you know how many books there are in the universe? I only own about 200 books and I’ve read almost all of them, but if I want to read every book, I’ll probably have to read about 1,000 a day. I’m going to take a speed reading class and sit at the library for 24 hours reading until I know everything there is to know about the universe; ours and the Star Wars one. That way I can:

5. Win at Jeopardy

Alex Trebek will be left speechless as I waltz my eight pound self out of that studio with the biggest payout ever given. Survey says: this guy wants to be a millionaire and can come on down to buy all the vowels he wants.

6. Have a torrid affair with Kate Upton

Do you know what happens when you win at Jeopardy? You get models. Role models, Model Ts, and, most importantly, supermodels. Every time Kate Upton posts a photo on Instagram, I know she’s looking directly at me saying, “David, all you have to do is win Jeopardy and we can make sweet love all over the midwestern United States.” I’m really good at reading subliminal messages in Instagram posts. Just wait until she sees my post diet bod.

7. Travel the midwestern United States

You know what you don’t hear about very much? Davenport, Iowa; the first stop on my tour of the midwest with my beautiful supermodel girlfriend Kate Upton by my side. As we sit on the banks of the mighty Mississippi, sipping on whiskey and watching the bald eagles mate, she’ll turn to me and ask for my hand in marriage, because she’s, “Always wanted to marry a future president.” Sensing her ulterior motives, I’ll decline and toss her into the river where I’ll:

8. Save Kate Upton from drowning

9. Marry Oprah

Oprah loves books, right? Then who better to marry than the guy who has read every one of them? She’ll hear about my bravery in saving a drowning Kate Upton and be smitten with me as soon as she feels my baby body against hers. Love at first sight. Our wedding will be set atop Mount Rushmore where President Obama delivers the sermon; the first time a sitting president has presided over the wedding of a future president. My 2016 story will be one for the ages, that is, until 2024, when I become president.

10. Get over my fear of spiders

Because gross.

What are your resolutions?