You wake up in the middle of the night – something’s not right. As your eyes adjust to the darkness and your brain comes to, you realize that it smells like something is burning.
You lay your head back down onto your pillow and hear the muffled chirps of what sounds like a smoke detector from the apartment next door.
SOMETHING IS BURNING!
You leap out of bed, suddenly completely aware of your surroundings – the stench of burning wood and plaster fills your nostrils.
The second you thrust open your door, smoke pours into your room. The bedroom door across the hall swings open – you lock eyes with your roommate, who is still in his pajamas too. There’s a fire and you have to do something fast.
“Where is the smoke coming from??”
“I don’t know!” You respond in a panic. “We’ve got to get out of here!”
“This isn’t my fault.”
“Don’t blame me for this.”
He crosses his arms and shakes his head, “It’s those stupid neighbors. I knew I didn’t like them, right from the moment they moved in.”
“Who cares? Let’s get out of here!”
“We gotta figure out what to do about those neighbors first.”
“Now??” He can’t be serious.
Your roommate presses a button on his phone and raises it to his ear.
“Oh, you’re calling 9-1-1.”
He raises his finger as if to shush you. You notice more smoke pouring into your apartment. It’s taking an unusually long time for the dispatcher to pick up.
“It went to voicemail.”
“9-1-1 WENT TO-?”
He holds up his finger again.
“Hi, this is your neighbor from next door. I’m just calling to say, ‘How dare you start a fire in the middle of the night like this! My roommate and I were both sleeping, so not only are we both going to be tired tomorrow, now neither of us are going to have a chance to save our stuff! You owe us an explanation and an apology. Also, we’re not leaving until you either put out the fire, or come get us out of here. Good. Bye!”
He hangs up the phone and gives you a nod like he solved the problem. Their smoke detector continues to beep. You look up at your own smoke detector, and see it hanging from the ceiling by its wires.
“Why aren’t there batteries in the smoke detector??”
Your roommate shrugs, “The people who lived here before weren’t ready for a fire.”
“There were batteries in there when we moved in!”
“Yeah, but I didn’t like the last tenants, so I took them out.”
“Wha-?? Come on, let’s get out-“ you make a move for the front door, but he puts a hand to your chest, stopping you in your tracks.
“What are you doing?”
“We didn’t start this. This is on the neighbors, so they should have to fix it.”
“THAT’S NOT HOW FIRES WORK!”
You start to cough. The smoke is becoming unbearable, you’re having trouble catching your breath, and you can barely see your roommate from just a few feet away. You get down onto your hands and knees.
“What are you doing?? Humans aren’t meant to crawl on all fours. Are you really giving up your freedom because of some stupid fire you didn’t even start?”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING!” You shout back up at him.
He bends down and forcefully lifts you back to your feet.
“Don’t worry,” the wall connecting your two apartments begins to glow orange, “I called the people from the building next door to let them know they can’t come into our building.”
“WHAT GOOD IS THAT GOING TO DO!?”
“Hey! This is the neighbors’ fault – you’re treating me unfairly! Here, put on this hospital mask.”
Your apartment door bursts into flame. At this point, you can’t even make out your roommate. You’re losing consciousness, so you stumble back into your bedroom, desperate to get to the window. Each step becomes more difficult than the last. The thick black smoke fills your lungs while your brain is screaming at you to breathe, but you can’t. You reach for the handle on the window, but don’t have the strength to open it. You fall to your knees, and just as you slip into the warm grasp of unconsciousness, you can hear your roommate gasp out the words, “It is what it is.”
What’s happening in the world may not be your fault, but finding a solution is your responsibility. I’m not saying that you can solve this pandemic, but I am saying that it is up to you to solve the problems that have impacted your life as a result.
Continuing to blame the “culprit,” may make you feel better in the short-term, but in order to really take control of an unfortunate situation, it is vital to ask, “What can I do now?” If the leader you’re working for, or even your elected official continues to ask, “Who’s to blame?” (I’m not naming any presidents’ names), take the initiative and do something – whether that’s approaching the person with ideas, moving on to another company, seeking out those who are actively searching for a solution, or working to elect someone else, you’ll at least feel more empowered. Starting from a state of empowerment and action is much more useful than starting from a state of victimhood. Complaining makes the problem loom larger, which actually perpetuates it, but accountability and action put you in the driver’s seat of your own life, and that’s a simple mental shift we all have the power to make.
When you ask yourself, “Who’s to blame?” What action can you take based off of that, other than blaming?
Now ask yourself, “What’s one step I can take?” or, “What’s one thing I can do?”
That shift has the power to change everything.