I Was Going to Post to My Blog, But…

…There’s a cat on my lap, and when there’s a cat on my lap, nothing gets done.

It’s not that like the cat pins me down and forbids me from typing, I just choose not to work when there’s a cat on my lap.

Then I blame it on the cat.

It’s definitely the cat’s fault that I didn’t type my 1,000 words today.

It’s not like I can type over him.

Every time I try to type, he attacks my fingers.

I’ve had to delete and re-type this line seven times for that reason.

There’s nothing I can do about this cat on my lap.

This is all on the cat.

I couldn’t go to the comedy show because of the cat.

I know I said I was going to come, and I know you were counting on me to perform, but when I sat down for seven seconds to check my email on my way out the door, guess what happened?

Cat. Lap.

And you can’t stand when there’s a cat on your lap because he needs to be pet.

Calm down! I know I ruined your show, and I’m sorry

I get that you’re mad. – I’d be mad too – but you didn’t have a cat on your lap.

If you did, that means you’d probably be at my house, which means you wouldn’t have gone to the show either, which means you have no room to talk.

And I couldn’t even answer the emails anyway!

There was a cat on my lap.

The cat found the cursor on my computer screen and I discovered that I’m distracted by cats chasing computer cursors.

I know there was a deadline, but I have a disease where I physically cannot focus on sending emails when there’s a cat on my lap.

It isn’t diagnosed.

I don’t have a doctor’s note.

Because I couldn’t get to the doctor’s office, since there was a cat on my lap, but that proves that it’s a real thing.

And it’s why I’m just now sending a time-sensitive email, three days too late.

Again, not my fault.

Blame Wright Catterson.

That’s not my cat’s name.

Or maybe it is.

I never asked.

I just gave him an arbitrary name without asking him what his actual name is.

I’ve actually been wanting to adopt a cat for forever because I have an overwhelming mice infestation, but I never got around to it.

There was a cat on my lap.

When there’s a cat on your lap, it makes it hard to adopt a cat in the first place.

Especially a cat who would rather chase a computer mouse instead of actual mice.

YOU try to get a cat when there’s a cat on your lap being hilarious.

You can’t, so as a result, you get mice.

This is how the world works when you have a cat on your lap.

Wait a minute…

If I need to get a cat, then how is there even a cat on my lap in the first place?

There is no cat.

…I don’t have a cat.

I’ve never even owned a cat.

I’m not even sure how to pronounce “cat.”

The only reason I know how to spell it is because Microsoft Word didn’t give it the red underline.

The only reason I know that cats even exist is from cat videos on Facebook.

Which means, it was never the cat at all… it was me the whole time.

What a twist!

But wait a minute… that means…

I was the one attacking my own fingers.

I wasn’t petting a cat, I was petting myself

I was the one spending hours chasing the cursor.

I’m the one named Wright Catterson!

IT WAS ME THE WHOLE TIME!

And I was making excuses instead of doing what I needed to do to get what I want!

Oh man, what a waste of three months.

…And I blamed it all on that stupid cat that I made up…

That means I have reframe this with some new self-talk:

“What do I want?

What does it look like?

What am I telling myself that’s stopping me?

How is it stopping me?

What’s something new I can do?

What’s 1 action I can take to move me closer to what I want?

Now go do it, Wright Catterson!”

Do the same thing when you have a “cat” on your lap.

Because excuses don’t exist.

…And neither does my cat.

 

Let Loss Propel You Forward

In our lives, we experience love and loss – it’s inevitable. What isn’t inevitable is the growth that can come from even the worst of times. It isn’t about suppressing our emotions when something unexpected happens, it’s about leaning into those emotions and using the momentum to find ways to learn and grow from the loss. I’ve recently experienced loss, and I thought I would share what I’ve had to go through to become a better person because of it.

My JBL Bluetooth speaker is gone.
It wasn’t by my choice, although I suppose my choices led up to the moment it was taken from me.
And now I can’t get over this feeling of loss…
Of despair…
Of regret…
Sure, I could’ve left it locked away in the trunk of my car, but a speaker with that depth of sound quality deserves to be free, to experience the world as it was meant to be experienced.
It deserved to left on top of my car to experience the feeling of wind, the warmth of the sun, the chill of the rain.
Something that beautiful should never be locked away.
You were small, but your sound… your sound was enough to fill a room.
And you played it all without question… because music was your life.
I want to hear you sing again.
To tell jokes again.
Hell, I want you to turn off on your own when I need you during a presentation again – you had a real habit of doing that.
But you can’t.
I just… I just want to feel your cylindrical  shape in my hand again.
I want to be in one end of my house with you in the other, singing away, making it feel like you’re right beside me.
I want to see “JBL Flip 2” appear on my list of Bluetooth options and know that my Macbook will connect to you since you’re within range.
You were unlike any Bluetooth speaker I had ever owned, because I had never owned another Bluetooth speaker.
You were the one – it wasn’t supposed to end like this.
But you were taken.
Stolen.
Who knows where you are now, or if you’ll even get this, but I miss you.
I stopped listening to music altogether.
When I hear other speakers, they just make me think about what we had, and I weep.
Dad says I’ll be okay.
He says you were “just a speaker.”
To some, sure.
But to me, you were more than “just a speaker.”
You were a part of my life.
And you know you never forget your first.
It’ll take time.
I’m not ready to get out there and try other speakers, so I just ordered a cheap Chinese replacement.
My mail order speaker should be arriving soon, but it won’t be the same.
I hope I’ll learn to listen again – and soon.
Listen, I know I’m better because of you and I should focus on that.
What you taught me in all of those audiobooks and podcasts… you’ve made me grow.
I learned so goddamn much from you, and for that, I’m incredibly grateful.
You’ll live on through me.
And together, with my new Chinese partner, our story will be told, and the world will be better because you were in it.

I’ll make sure of it.

Gun Violence and the Solution That’s Right Under Our Noses

Last month, President Donald Trump and Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos hosted a roundtable discussion where they invited victims of school shootings to the White House to discuss their experiences and ideas for solutions. Regardless of your position on the president and Mrs. DeVos, this was a welcomed development in the debate over gun violence. Instead of debating, arguing, and the typical candor between politicians, real people came together to share solution ideas for a problem that has divided us for years. Not one to watch the news (or what I call “the noise” because I’m just so damn clever), I was transfixed. In a culture where we’re focused on who’s right vs. who’s wrong rather than “How can we come together to create a solution?” for once those in attendance had a common goal: create a culture of safety. Not five minutes after the meeting ended, came the hot takes from pundits and social media accounts focused again on who was right and who was wrong, why the president is an asshat, and his meeting notes, including a reminder to “hear” those voicing their concerns. We were right back to focusing on problems instead of creating solutions. In all this noise, we missed out on the solution to the problem that was offered during the meeting that doesn’t just take care of the symptoms like mental health reform, banning certain guns, or arming teachers: a cultural shift focused on how we see one another.
During this meeting, one person really stood out to me: Darrel Scott, father of Rachel Scott, who was killed in the 4/20/97 shooting at Columbine High School. This was the school shooting that brought the topic of gun violence into the national spotlight almost 21 years ago, and still, few solutions have been reached. In fact, mass shootings have only intensified, because in these twenty-plus years, Columbine has dropped out of the top 10 list for deadliest shootings (um… yay?). It’s time for new ideas, because the ideas we’ve been working with for over two decades are clearly not doing the trick. What Scott said struck a chord with me since I study and share how to create positive workplace cultures for a living. Scott has a brief opportunity to get to the core of, not only the issue of gun violence, but the issues of violence in general and the underlying lack of happiness plaguing the country. Scott isn’t just talking about it a solution, he’s actively doing something to fix the deeply rooted cause of violent behavior: a lack of human connection.
Since his daughter lost her life, Scott has founded Rachel’s Challenge,* a nonprofit on a mission to create a positive climate focused on making schools safer, more connected places where bullying and violence are replaced with kindness and respect. According to Scott, the program has touched 28 million students since its founding in 1998, has prevented 7 school shootings, prevents an average of 150 suicides a year, and has seen improvements in the schools with whom they have partnered. According to the website, this includes gains in community engagement, faculty/student relationships, leadership potential, and school climate, as well as reductions in bullying, alcohol, tobacco, and drug use. While debates rage on over whether to arm teachers, ban automatic weapons, or apply stricter background checks when purchasing a firearm, Scott, a private citizen just like me and you, free from the entanglements of bureaucracy and politics, is, putting it bluntly, getting shit done.
Scott’s solution: “We must create a culture of connectedness. We must create a culture in which our classmates become our friends.” He goes on to explain how he has seen students connect with one another and makes a fascinating point: “Every single one of these school shootings have been from young men who are disconnected.”**
In his book, Flourish: positive psychologist Martin Seligman lists positive relationships as one of the five elements of human well-being.***

“Selfish-gene theory argues that the individual is the sole unit of natural selection. Evidence shows that the group is a primary unit of natural selection.”

Sure, I have read books in the field of positive psychology that re-affirm this, but it’s through my research in other fields like leadership, history, and, yes, even improvisation that have led me to go as far as to say that a lack of human connectedness is the causation of aggression, violence, and discrimination.
From Simon Sinek in his book Leaders Eat Last:

“When we cooperate or look out for others, serotonin and oxytocin reward us with the feelings of security, fulfillment, belonging, trust, and camaraderie.”

Humans are wired to get along, but we’re conditioned to covet personal gain, which goes against this biology, and costs us opportunities to make connections, become happier, and grow exponentially. In his book Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind, historian Yuval Noah Harrari wrote:

“Evolution favors those capable of forming strong social ties. In addition, since humans are born underdeveloped, they can be educated and socialized far greater than any other animals.”

To solve the problem of gun violence, we must create a culture focused on humans connecting with one another in order to make each other better and to make the world a better place, which is what Darrel Scott and his wife are doing with Rachel’s Challenge. I believe that the long-term solution is an overhaul of the education system where the goal is for students to learn to connect with one another and work together, rather than work separately for individual accomplishment. Until then, each of us can play a small role on creating a culture of connectedness in our own lives and circles. Though each of us as individuals has a small voice, we have an opportunity to come together and connect as a cacophony of voices on a quest to create safety, happiness, and love. It is in the pursuit of creating something we all believe in that can connect us, rather than arguing over who is right or who is wrong, which denies us the chance to create connection.
Darrel Scott is just one voice who has brought together a chorus of many voices to make a difference and bring us closer to a more human culture:
“The focus must not be just on unity or diversity, because if you focus too much on diversity, you create division. If you focus too much on unity, you’ll create compromise. But if you focus on relatedness and how you can relate with one another, then you can celebrate the diversity and you can see the unity take place. The focus really needs to be on how we can connect. That’s something our organizations have learned: how to connect students with each other, with themselves, with their teachers, and with their parents.”

Imagine the freedom of walking the streets without the fear of violence – with a feeling of confidence that every person you pass has your best interests at heart. We have the choice to focus on how this isn’t possible, which is what has been happening, or we can shift our focus onto how we can come together and create this culture. One thing you can do today is not to debate, but to listen to the ideas of others and remember that no matter who we are, we all want to feel safe and loved. How can you help make this happen and connect with others today?

“The most important decision we make is whether we believe in a friendly or hostile universe.” – Albert Einstein
“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new lands, but in looking with new eyes.” – Marcel Proust
*Darrel Scott speaks at about 33:50 in this video:
https://www.denverpost.com/2018/02/21/darrell-scott-columbine-shooting-donald-trump/
** Learn more about Rachel’s Challenge and how a culture of connectedness is helping students all over the country build relationships with classmates, parents, teachers, and themselves.
***The other four are positive emotion, engagement, meaning, and accomplishment.

Why Does This Keep Happening?

When you turn on the news, how do you feel?

When you think about how a human being can do something so barbaric, how does that make you feel?

When you hop on your social media and read people’s comments, what feeling does that create?

When you hear stories about the kindness, generosity, and heroic sacrifices of others, what do you feel?

Which of those feelings do you want to feel more of?

Is this going to be a blog post with only questions?

Allow me to answer that with a question: with so many people offering the same right/wrong, black/white, conservative/liberal opinions, wouldn’t it be nice to hear something different?

How can we bring more feelings of inspiration, love, abundance, joy, compassion, and meaning into the world?

What if each of us set out on our days to spread these feelings to others? What if we refocus our perspective of work, success, and life itself onto making the ultimate goal the spreading of those feelings?

What if, every day, we focused on bettering ourselves rather than being better than others?

What if, no matter the ideologies, opinions, and actions of others, we still responded with compassion and love?

How would your personal relationships be different?

Would your professional relationships become more personal?

What if we spent more time educating our children on kindness, working together, and understanding those different than us?

What if we were to measure our success by the number of people we serve?

What if we smiled more at strangers?

What if we accepted the imperfections of our humanity and laughed more at ourselves?

What if we looked at our differences in thought, belief, and action as opportunities to understand more about each other?

Would this make it easier to work together?

How could our different perspectives be combined to make the world a better place?

How would the world be different if we focused on solutions instead of the severity of problems?

If, every day, most people felt love, joy, compassion, abundance, inspiration and meaning, do you think they would want to inflict harm unto others verbally, emotionally, or physically?

What does that world look like?

How does that make you feel?

How can you share this feeling with everyone around you?

Can darkness exist where there is light?

Can fear, anger, bigotry, and hatred exist where there is love, compassion, understanding, and joy?

Does pointing out the faults of others show them how to grow?

Is fighting anger, hatred, and fear with anger, hatred and fear creating less anger, hatred, and fear?

What feelings does every human being strive for?

This keeps happening because we keep responding the same way. This has nothing to do with politics, being right or wrong, or even guns; it’s much more basic than all of these things. This has everything to do with being a human being, and the most human feelings we can feel are love, joy, compassion, understanding, freedom, kindness, and a desire to grow.

So what can you do to create those feelings within yourself?

What can you do, starting now, to inspire those feelings within others?

Start now. Share with others.

Let’s change the narrative and make the world and the people in it better together.

 

A Piece on Peace: The Gun, the Horn, and Bacon Hands

In this week’s blog, I wanted to take the opportunity to present some alternative perspectives on violence and some ideas on how we can create solutions focused on peace. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If we were coming up with the right solutions, I would be writing about how to make delicious bourbon braised pork and the news would be filled with more stories about skateboarding bulldogs.

I’m not, and there are no bulldogs to be found, so that means it’s time to at least consider some new ways of thinking.

Solutions and change begin with different perspective. I wrote some humorous shorts accompanied by solution-oriented ways to think about problems. A maintained focus on problems eventually creates more problems while maintained focus on solutions can only create solutions. I use humor and my own observations, which are based on a combination of human history and our psychological tendencies, to break up problem-oriented thinking and replace it with solution-oriented thinking. I hope you enjoy and I would love to hear your thoughts on my ideas and how we can use them to promote peace on this planet we’ve been gifted. – David

(The following are excerpts taken from an article found on Upworthy)

Portland Pacifist Promotes Peace With Pistol

There have been more mass shootings in the United States so far this year than there have been days. Many people would consider this a problem, but a Portland inventor sees this as an opportunity for a solution.

Paul (who refuses to use a last name to identify himself) is a self-proclaimed pacifist and who has come up with a concept that, he believes, will solve the problem of gun violence; it’s called the Fun Gun, and he’s working on getting a patent.

“Essentially, when someone pulls a gun on you, you pull out the Fun Gun, aim it at them, and fire,” explained Paul.

“The subsequent explosion of confetti, flower petals, and little pieces of paper with hilarious improv suggestions will disarm your attacker and initiate a laugh-filled opportunity to make a new friend. As soon as they see the Fun Gun pointed at them, chances are, they’re going to shoot you a smile, put their own gun down, and join you in a joyful jaunt at the ATM. Everyone wins!”

“Hold up the hold up with the Fun Gun”

The Traffic Tantrum of the Pacifist Isn’t Much of a Tantrum at All

Weapons aren’t the only peace-promoting invention up Paul’s sleeve. According to him, he recently invented a horn that shouts, “Good try, but I know you’re a better driver than that; drive safely!” rather than the honk we’ve become accustomed to.

“The normal horn sounds so aggressive, so I went with something more conducive to safety and friendship,” offered Paul with a smile on his face.

“I call it the Helpful Honker because it offers a positive suggestion, rather than criticizing someone else’s mistakes. I want other people to hear ‘Hey, you have opportunity to grow as a driver,’ rather than ruin their day with the car version of ‘F YOU!’ When someone pulled out in front of me today, I honked my horn, and for the next five minutes I drove behind them, they didn’t pull out in front of anyone else. It really works!”

As Paul likes to say, “Stop Going Bonkers and Get Some Helpful Honkers!”

The Helpful Honker should be on store shelves by this time next year.

What’s the Point?

Most people in the world aren’t violent, but if we respond with violence to the few who try to violently exert themselves, we can only be met by resistance, or more violence. This law has constantly repeated itself throughout history. Violence cannot be solved with violence. Debt cannot be solved by spending money and creating more debt. Fire cannot be extinguished by more fire, no matter how much less fiery it is. So what will happen if we try to solve gun violence with more guns?

When we tell someone they’re wrong or that they shouldn’t behave a certain way, they focus on the negative, start to feel negatively, and then tend to search for and focus on all of the other negatives they can think of. We’re resisting them, which drives them to resist our resistance, and no one wins. We’re much better off complimenting someone on what they’re doing well, offering improvement suggestions like “Drive safely,” and giving them words of encouragement that can work to inspire them.  Instead of focusing on what they’re doing incorrectly, we subconsciously prompt them to focus on the opportunity to improve, which lifts their spirits, offers them a different perspective of themselves, and shows them they have some external support.

 

Bacon > Violence

When I was six, I wanted pistol-hands, but didn’t think about the consequences. If you’re thinking about replacing your hands with guns, consider replacing them with something completely different: bacon hands. Gun hands unintentionally turn handshakes into holdups. Bacon hands, on the other bacon hand, turn handshakes into friendships (and milkshakes into deliciousness).

Screen Shot 2015-12-02 at 5.10.24 PM

Why don’t we teach people that when they think a thought like, “Other people make me so angry! I want to shoot someone!” it isn’t very positive? Why don’t we teach people that we can rebut violent thoughts by simply interrupting and changing our thought patterns? “How else can I view the situation in a way that makes me and other people feel happy?” 0r “Bacon is delicious,” are more conducive to solution-seeking than, “I hate the lifestyle of these people and they need to die!” This way of thinking is focused on the problem (the fact that this person hates something about others), and can only create more problems.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard of a bacon-related mass shooting. If everyone shared bacon (or something else that promotes goodwill), I can guarantee fewer mass shootings and more mass huggings. What if we learned to use our thoughts to grow ourselves and contribute to the world? Our thoughts either work for or against us. If we learn to trace negative feelings back to thoughts, we’ll quickly understand how our thoughts work against us. If we examine these thoughts, explore thoughts that make us, and others, feel better, and think those thoughts, we can replace negative action with action that is more conducive to the well-being of ourselves and our world. Chances are, murderers aren’t thinking, “I want to bring joy to the lives of others today.” If we learn to replace constricting thoughts with thoughts that expand ourselves and others, we realize the level of control we have over our existence and can then experience the freedom of self; one of the most fulfilling joys of all… other than bacon hands.

In closing, some (definitely not fake) motivational quotes:

“He who establishes his argument by noise and command, shows that his reason is weak. Either that or the music is way too loud and he should turn it down so you can hear what he’s saying.” – Michel de Montaigne

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind… Unless we’re referring to eye transplants, which can make blind people see. Are eye transplants a thing yet? If not, I need to invent them before I die from an abdominal aortic aneurysm.” – Albert Einstein the day before he died

 

Check Your Privilege, Kermit

EVERY. YEAR.

Every damned year, Al Roker/Matt Lauer and whatever physically appealing female co-anchor that happens to be working for NBC go flipping crazy when that Kermit balloon appears in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. All we hear about is how everyone loves him, how he’s one of the main attractions, and then there’s some obligatory joke about Miss Piggy. The heaps of praise and unwavering love for this frog isn’t equal to the love for many of the other balloons and I say, “No more!”

Where’s the praise for cartoon characters? Corporate mascots? And there’s not even a Caitlyn Jenner balloon; it’s blatant disrespect.

Check your privilege at the door, Al Roker. There’s more to this parade than just Muppets.

What about Sonic the Hedgehog? “There’s Sonic. He’s making his 6th appearance in the parade.” That’s it!? That’s all you got!? No mention of his rings or the fact that he SAVED THE WORLD FROM DR. ROBOTNIK!?

Hello Kitty? They’re just like, “Hello, Kitty. So anyway, how’s your turkey coming, Hoda?”

When Bart Simpson appears, it’s a bullying slugfest. “What trouble will he get into this year?” “He’s probably been up to some mischief.” What, because he’s yellow that automatically means he’s been doing something mischievous?  Get off your high horse, NBC.

I’m sick of the puppet privilege this amphibious ass gets every. single. stinkin year! Enough is enough!

When you see that smug son of a salamander snake his way onto your screen, switch off the set and watch something that DOESN’T rub puppet privilege in our faces. Like football.

Big Bird too! Such an avian a-hole.

Just watch and see what I mean. How do you think the other balloons feel about all of the attention these Muppets get? It’s time to take a stand. I, for one, won’t be watching the parade and will be watching Home Shopping reruns. I won’t be shopping at Macy’s anymore either because I can’t, in good faith, give my money to a corporation who obviously doesn’t care about equality. Join me in my defiance and let’s tell the man that we won’t stand for this inflatable injustice any longer!

Krush Kermit

Play Chess or Die!: A Parallel Between High School Extracurricular and Secular Extremism

“Play Chess or Die!” The message rang loud and clear over the TV morning announcements at West View High School. The school’s chess club, known as Checkmate, had taken another hostage. This time, it was Craig Townsend, a reporter from the school’s newspaper, The View of West View. He was reporting on the boy’s tennis team moving their after-school meeting to room 206 the previous night, when members of Checkmate nabbed him. With the swipe of a sword, Craig became just another victim in the name of the Queen. Checkmate’s demands are simple: more funds for new chess boards, the freedom to meet in any room they want without staff approval, and for everyone in the school to renounce all other extracurriculars to play chess. Their tactics are barbaric: hostage executions, bombings, and mass shootings, the most recent of which really put a damper on student morale, even amidst an 8-1 football season.

Through the 40 years of the school’s existence, this narrative has repeated itself over and over. Checkmate is sick of the fact that all of the other extracurricular clubs and organizations don’t play chess all the time, so they use guerilla tactics with the intention of terrorizing the other students into playing chess. Yes, some people have joined, but most of them have joined out of fear rather than because of genuine enthusiasm in chess. Junior Jeremy Kellenson joined when Checkmate sent him a grainy video threatening to capture and behead his brother. Even though he may be part of the club and playing chess, he doesn’t exactly look forward to going to the meetings.

Checkmate interprets the rules of chess to be symbolic: you can only win a match by eliminating the other player’s pieces or by forcing them into submission. This means that total extracurricular dominance can be achieved either by murdering anyone who isn’t part of chess club, or by forcing them to join. However, it seems as though the murder aspect is deterring people, so meeting attendance is declining. …actually, that might have more to do with all of the suicide bombing… The club believes that if they kill the tuba section of the marching band, it will scare the trombone section into joining. We can only hope Student Council rallies the other clubs to do something about preventing further tragedy…

Would you rather have your kids get excited about playing soccer and want to do it on their own, or would you prefer to drag them, kicking and screaming, into the minivan? When you propose, would you rather your girlfriend say “Yes!” emphatically with tears of joy streaming down her face, or would you prefer if she says “Yes,” because her father made an arrangement with your father about land acquisition? Would you, as president of chess club, rather have people join because the meetings are so much fun and people genuinely want to join, or would you rather capture and decapitate a school newspaper reporter to scare people into joining? As a student who isn’t part of Checkmate, does the prospect of joining excite you when you’re threatened with murder?

The call to action here is simple: if you want others to believe what you believe, show them why it’ll benefit them. Don’t mortar their cheerleading practice. Trying to force them will only cause resentment and you won’t have converted anyone authentically. We can’t control the thoughts or actions of others, but we can control our thoughts and actions around others. This is why the tactics of extremist organizations, American military force in the Middle East, disruptive protests, or telling your friends that they’re idiots for not watching Game of Thrones will never work – you’re not inspiring anyone. The power of inspiration is much more effective than persuasion because we’re driven from within instead of from an external source. If the leaders of Checkmate are killed and the chess extremists are destroyed, are people like Jeremy Kellenson going to remain members? Of course not! External motivation is temporary, and when it goes away, so does our motivation. Following the recent terrorist attacks around the world, we have an opportunity; not to use force to convince others of our beliefs, but to inspire people to believe differently by showing them love.

We all have beliefs and they guide all of our actions. Without beliefs, we wouldn’t have our identities, so when someone else tries to force us into believing or doing something we wouldn’t normally believe or do, our identities fight back. It’s natural. I don’t have an exact solution, but if we were to view extremist violence from a different light, it may be the catalyst we need to get a different result. No problems will ever be permanently solved with a “My way or the highway” approach, but by using a different approach like love, we can interrupt the routine of violent coercion and inspire those with hurtful intentions by showing them the benefits of love, peace, and togetherness. Every human being has a need to be loved, appreciated, and made to feel important in the world. When we lead by example and show that these things can be accomplished without violence, others will respond in kind. This is the law of our subconscious minds and the universe. When we force others to agree that we’re always right; we’ll always be wrong. When we can inspire others to see things from our perspective by acting as a shining example, we can change the world. Every conflict serves as an opportunity to grow ourselves and inspire others to do the same. Using this perspective, chess club can now grow their membership through genuine inspiration to join, and actually have engaged members, rather than members who fear for their lives. If we can inspire others to consider our beliefs instead of forcing them, that is a true checkmate. (I had to)

A CatCall to Action

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The term “catcalling” has taken center stage on social media lately, but it has nothing to do with the fact that Snowball isn’t very good at answering the phone, like I originally pictured. A video surfaced about two weeks ago, showing a conservatively dressed girl walking through New York City being hollered at by men on the street. “Hey beautiful,” “God bless you mami,” and lots of iterations of, “Dayum!” are some examples of the catcalls hurled at the girl. Catcalling, AKA street harassment (which sounds way more dramatic), can be an uncomfortable experience for anyone. First off, I don’t want this post to be misconstrued as me supporting catcalling. I’ve never used it (although I say hi to people on the street all the time) and I think people who do use it need a lesson in manners (sheesh, I sound like my mother). Catcalling is disrespectful, inappropriate, and, “Dat ass tho,” should never be used as a formal greeting. What this video does is raise awareness of the problem, but it is also self-defeating, and I will explain why by diving into the flaws of our social sciences – the lens through which we’re conditioned to see the world.

Social science (psychology, political science, cultural anthropology, sociology, etc.) is founded on the principle that the environment is the driving force behind why we do what we do. As a result, the last century and a half have been founded on a system that is really good at exposing wrongs, but has a hard time with proposing solutions. As a result, we miss out on the individual actions we can take when something we can’t control (like someone else’s unacceptable behavior) happens to us. When we focus on how other people have wronged us, we take the role of the victim and give power over our lives to those people. In this case, it completely nullifies the purpose of the video. Instead of coming up with a solution, we instead stay stuck on how bad the situation was or is. When this happens, the proposed remedies are always centered on the principle of fixing things by banning something so it never happens to anyone ever again. But when has banning something ever really worked? Prohibition? Gay marriage? The war on drugs? Freedom of speech? Just a few examples of bans that have crashed and burned wonderfully. These examples are focused on stopping the problem rather than creating an effective solution.

The way social sciences are set up creates a culture of blame instead of one of problem solving. Need proof? Just watch C-SPAN for ten minutes and you’ll see political science in a nutshell: it’s always the other team’s fault. So this video exposes the wrongs of catcalling, but it does nothing to propose a solution. If we want to make a difference with anything, we must focus on the solution instead of the problem. People who catcall do it every day and probably have no idea that what they’re doing is rude, and that, “How you fit all that in dem jeans?” can be interpreted as, “I’m surprised your pants fit, fatty.” Not exactly the same as, “Lovely weather we’re having,” right? So instead of saying, “Hey, we’re exposing this bad thing, now let’s ban it,” why don’t we educate the catcallers on the proper way to treat others? Instead of telling the perpetrators to stop, why don’t we replace it with something more positive and productive? Empower yourself and others by presenting a positive solution instead of victimizing yourself by focusing on the problem. This way, when someone comes up to you on the street and says, “Have a nice afternoon,” he means it, and we don’t immediately become the victim of a guy who simply wants you to enjoy your day.