Word of the Week: Inspire

Inspire: (Verb) To fill with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence. (source: dictionary.com)

“Inspire” is much more than just a word; it’s a call to action. Most of our days are filled with self-gratification: going to work to get paid, going to dinner with friends to have fun, going to the bar to get lit, etc. With each and every interaction with another person, we have an opportunity to inspire them, but we often miss it because we have become conditioned to find what they can do for us. It’s awfully hard to inspire someone when you’re trying to get something from them. Don’t think of the word “inspire” as creating some magical moment where fireworks explode in the sky and choirs of angels belt out Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus. To inspire someone can be as simple as inspiring them to smile or feel good about themselves. You need not give away your savings or spend an exorbitant amount of time or energy to do it; all it takes is a conscious effort to make someone’s day better. When I approach a new person, no matter what, I put a smile on my face. Even if they’re in a contentious state of mind, it will catch them off guard. Last night, I was at Starbucks, getting my late-night caffeine fix, but no one was behind the counter. After waiting five minutes, a frazzled-looking barista appeared from around the corner, apologizing profusely for making me wait, as if I was about to scold her. I smiled and said, “Don’t apologize, I’m good. Besides, waiting is a state of mind.” She smiled and I could see the tension in her shoulders subside. We went on to have a pleasant conversation about how cascara wasn’t the person who sang Everytime We Touch. What she didn’t know is that I snuck around the display case and took three cake pops, but it’s my hope that the next time she has to wait in line for something, she’s inspired to have patience. (I’m kidding about the cake pops, by the way… I took four).*

Because it’s a verb, when we tell ourselves to “inspire others,” we picture ourselves actually doing something to inspire them. In order to inspire, action must be taken and there is no limit to the actions you can take to inspire someone. My life’s purpose is to inspire others to see the bigger picture and laugh, which is why every day I’m working on learning more about how we use our minds, creating a new character, writing a new performance bit, making a video, or performing in front of others. I’ve made inspiration the purpose of my career, and I wake up every morning, excited to inspire someone else to be better. This mindset has completely changed the way I perceive work, and turned a job into my mission.

How did you feel the last time you inspired someone? Made them smile? Strengthened their self-perception? Built their trust? Inspired them to learn and apply something new? Remember how great it felt – that warmth in your heart, the flood of happiness in your brain, and the feeling of connection with the other person. We’re a social species – it’s arguably the most important trait we have, which is why it feels so good when we’re able to shine a light on someone else’s day.

It’s fairly simple: people don’t remember what you say or do, they remember how you make them feel. Leave everyone you encounter better off than you did when ran into them. How can you inspire someone this week? When interacting with others, ask yourself, “Am I inspiring this person with my actions?” At the end of each day, write down at least one way you inspired a coworker, boss, customer, family member, friend, or stranger and keep looking for opportunities to do so. When we set out to inspire, we give our lives meaning by working toward something bigger than ourselves, we engage our minds, and most importantly, we inspire others to inspire others. Pretty inspiring, eh?

*Disclaimer: No cake pops were stolen in the writing of this blog.

Words, Words, Words

*This blog uses language that is NSFW… or does it?

Fuck.

Just 4 letters put together to make a sound, given a definition by some shadowy council, and given meaning by anyone who uses it or hears it being used.

verb
1. Have sexual intercourse with (someone).
2. Ruin or damage (something).
noun
noun: fuck; plural noun: fucks
1. An act of sexual intercourse. A sexual partner.
exclamation
exclamation: fuck
1. Used alone or as a noun the fuck or a verb in various phrases to express anger, annoyance, contempt, impatience, or surprise, or simply for emphasis.

(I’m not going to include the Urban Dictionary definitions because it muddles the meaning of the word even more.)

Who decides whether or not a word is vulgar? Who decides whether or not they are offended by someone’s words? Who’s to stop me from re-defining the word in my own life?

“I’ve been fucking all day.”
“Watch your mouth, David!”
“What!? I didn’t get much fuck last night, so I thought I’d take a nap!”

Words are arbitrary. The number of definitions given to this word, largely considered profane, prove it. If someone says something that we may be offended by, it’s because of the meaning we give what was said, and not what was actually said that determines our response. Words mean nothing, yet. for some reason, such a high value is placed on them. One person could listen to a racially charged, profanity- laced tirade, get offended and try to get other people to get offended, while another could hear the same tirade, think, “What an idiot,” and move on. When we dwell on something “offensive,” we give the culprit power over our emotions. It’s not the words that cause the emotion from the listener, it’s the listener’s thoughts about what is said. In eighth grade English class, I used the word “dingus” in a sentence and the teacher and I got two completely meanings out of the word. The word “dingus” is used to refer to something whose name the speaker cannot remember, is unsure of, or is humorously or euphemistically omitting. Even after showing her this definition, she was still furious because she assumed I was referring to a penis and I was given two detentions.

Art is the same way: one person may see a painting of a bowl of fruit while another may be moved to tears because of their family’s history of scurvy. Or they’re offended by pears. While watching The Departed with my parents, my mom would gasp every time someone said “fuck,” and, in turn, hated the movie because she missed out on the story to count “fucks.” What we draw from an external experience depends solely on the meaning we give it. No one actually likes to be hurt by words – negative emotions don’t feel good – but it’s the thoughts we think about what was said that impact our beliefs, which determine our attitude, which generates our feelings, which influence our actions, which directly define our reality. People who use hateful speech aren’t worth your time – giving them attention by criticizing their words just adds fuel to their intended hate. If words really hurt, take action by softening the blow. How? Swear with character and cuss with kindness. Since words and their definitions are man-made, change their meaning. Redefine fuck. For example:

-When someone says, “Fuck you,” define it as, “You embody the person I wish I was.”
-When you’re called an idiot, look at it as an opportunity to learn how to do something better.
-When someone calls you a “motherfucker,” assume they’re using “motherfucker” in place of the word “friend”, give them a wave and a smile, and go on with your day. Even if they mean to accuse you of fornicating with mothers, they’re not worth your time. Sticks and stones, right?

You can do it with your own words too! For example:

-Say, “Your dick is showing,” if you see someone’s tag peeking out from their shirt.
-When you see someone wearing a cool hat, say, “Nice hat, asshole,” then flash him a smile. You just said, “Nice hat, handsome.” Now that’s polite!
-When you see a couple with a newborn baby, tell the parents, “Oh, what a cunty baby girl!” Of course their newborn daughter is beautiful, and you complimented them using an adjective appropriate for the miracle of childbirth because that’s what “cunty” means to you.

No one likes being angry or feeling offended, but these feelings are a choice based on our programmed thoughts about something external that really has no value until we apply value to it. There’s more than one way to view a situation, so why not attach the meaning that makes you happiest?

Fuck you (have a great day)!